tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-39268352213083988662024-03-08T04:20:34.013+00:00Deadlines and DiamondsLisa Holdsworthhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03698897564460943227noreply@blogger.comBlogger29125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3926835221308398866.post-81827887173544901532020-03-23T16:13:00.002+00:002020-03-23T16:13:16.835+00:00The Five Stages<br />
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It feels like grief, doesn’t it? As we come to understand
everything that we seem to have lost in the space of a week. The jobs that
disappeared overnight. The cancellations of events we were looking forward to
and had worked hard to put on. The places that we took for granted and now
can’t visit. And the people that we saw when went there. The casual chats. The
smiles. The catching up. The promises to be in touch. <o:p></o:p></div>
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I’ve definitely been going through the stages of that grief.
<o:p></o:p></div>
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Denial. Well, the government did that for us with their ‘herd
immunity’ bollocks. Still, I think we all had an idea that they viewed us as
cattle. However, it does feel like we were all kidding ourselves. Holding off
cancelling things, just in case it all blew over. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Bargaining: Again, the government did that for us –
stupidly. They struck a bargain with the UK that we knew couldn’t be kept. They
told cafes, theatres, cinemas and pubs that they could stay open on the
understanding that no-one actually went there. They put business owners in an
impossible position morally and financially. And what it worse they gave us
false hope. A hope that maybe if everyone was just a bit sensible, we could
keep calm and carry on. <o:p></o:p></div>
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I’m a cockeyed optimist but after the last few years, even I
didn’t think we could rely on the entire Great British Public to be sensible.
There was always going to be a hardcore minority of idiots who were going to
ruin it for the rest of us. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Of course, the vast majority of people did and will do the
right thing. Including many people who run venues in my beloved Leeds. My inbox
filled with heartfelt apologies for inconvenience from theatre spaces, clubs,
bars, restaurants and those who have been at the heart of a burgeoning and uplifting
arts scene in my glorious hometown. People I personally know have given
everything to provide a bit of joy and entertainment – time, energy, money,
love, themselves. <o:p></o:p></div>
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And so, as I slipped into the depression stage, I cried for
them. I cried for the fragile new businesses who were scrambling to salvage
something. I cried for the stoics who were repurposing their premises and
workforces to be kind and useful in this hour of need.<o:p></o:p></div>
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And then, via the blessing/curse that is social media, came
another wave of sadness. Overnight, it really felt like everyone I knew and
loved had lost their livelihoods. Actors, musicians, writers, directors,
producers, stage technicians, camera-operators, radio presenters, comedians…
The list goes on and on. And almost all of them are freelancers, like me.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Look, freelancers are used to things being a bit up and
down. Things get cancelled, funding doesn’t materialise, people change their
minds. And we try to mitigate that risk as much as we can. I think every
freelancer has<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>a series of measures they
can put in place to lower their overheads when money is tight. We’re a
superstitious bunch who try not jinx contracts before they are signed by
talking about them. We try not to spend any money that we haven’t invoiced for.
We are cautious in our optimism.<o:p></o:p></div>
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However, NOBODY could have had an action plan in place to
anticipate the havoc that Covid-19 is having on our industry. Nobody can be
prepared for every booking to disappear from the diary with absolutely no
guarantee of when and if they will reappear. <o:p></o:p></div>
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And so, when the government (quite rightly) guaranteed the
incomes of the employed who had been effected by the pandemic but chose not to
extend the same safety net to freelancers, I hit the next stage of grief.
Burning, glowing, red, hot ANGER. <o:p></o:p></div>
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And that anger was not soothed by seeing government
ministers claiming it was ‘too complex’ to offer any serious financial help to
freelancers. It’s not at all complex. The government has all the information
they need at their fingertips via HMRC. With three years of tax returns, they
can calculate the average annual income of any freelancer and offer the same
deal as has been offered to those who are PAYE. Subject to the same limits.<o:p></o:p></div>
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And what will happen if they do not offer that help? It is
currently beyond the limits of my tiny mind to comprehend what we will lose if
we do not support freelancers at this time. The work, the entertainment, the
creativity that this country is lucky to have. But those are wishy-washy leftie
ideals. So, let me appeal to the Tories in a language that they claim to understand
- money. <o:p></o:p></div>
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The creative industries contributed £111.7 billion of value
to the UK economy in 2018. That is £127 million per hour. (<a href="https://www.thecreativeindustries.co.uk/media/551640/ci_value-revise-2_2020.png" target="_blank">source</a>)<o:p></o:p></div>
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With an estimated 2,040,000 jobs - 75 per cent of them
outside London - the UK's creative industries are developing new jobs faster
than other sectors despite record employment in the UK economy as a whole. (<a href="https://www.thecreativeindustries.co.uk/media/551640/ci_value-revise-2_2020.png" target="_blank">source</a>)<o:p></o:p></div>
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The Office for National Statistics said that the Film &
TV industry saved the UK economy from stagnating in amongst the Brexit bullshit
in 2019. (<a href="https://www.screendaily.com/news/film-and-tv-boom-pushes-uk-economy-into-black/5143767.article" target="_blank">source</a>)<o:p></o:p></div>
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The Creative Industries rely on freelancers with their
flexibility and specialised skill sets. We lose that at our peril. We already
have skills gaps in our industry and that will be exacerbated if we lose people
because their work becomes financially unsustainable – even for a short time. <o:p></o:p></div>
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And so, I will not be slipping into the final stage of
grief; Acceptance.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I will fight tooth and nail to make sure that freelancers
and the self-employed in this country are valued in the same way as other
workers. I will use my platform to call out this iniquity and to pressure those
in power to put it right. I will not accept that this is the way it has to be.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Because when this is all over – and it will be over – the
UK’s best chance for recovery both financially and emotionally is the creative
industries. But there is no creativity or industry without our freelancers.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br />Lisa Holdsworthhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03698897564460943227noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3926835221308398866.post-91937631318882260012019-01-03T18:20:00.001+00:002019-01-03T18:47:22.711+00:00Five New Year Resolutions Every TV Producer Should Make<br />
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Five years ago, I posted <a href="http://deadlinesanddiamonds.blogspot.com/2013/01/10-new-years-resolutions-that-every.html" target="_blank">Ten New Years Resolutions That Every Writer Should Break</a>. It was one of my most popular blogs and in the
current Hollywood spirit of rehashing everything that anyone has ever watched/read/loved,
I am revisiting the idea. However, this time I am suggesting 5 NY resolutions
that TV producers should make some sort of effort to keep.<o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
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I’ve been an active member of the <a href="https://writersguild.org.uk/" target="_blank">Writers’ Guild</a> TV
Committee for a few years now. And the cavalier and often cruel way that
writers are treated on some of the UK’s favourite shows never ceases to horrify
me. I am consistently disappointed and angered by the lack of response or
action from producers when the WGGB confront them with bad practice. We are
often told that is just the way things are. <o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
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Bullshit. <o:p></o:p></div>
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It’s just that way because some people are too lazy or
unimaginative to effect significant change or hold themselves to a better
standard. It’s worth noting there was a very similar attitude to sexual harassment
and <a href="https://writersguild.org.uk/wggb_campaigns/creating-without-conflict/" target="_blank">bullying </a>in the industry. Change was only promised (it remains to be seen
whether it has been achieved) after the survivors of abuse bravely stood up and
told their stories. Not a risk-free course of action. Indeed, they risked being
disbelieved, discredited and ostracised by their industry.<o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
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The same is true for writers who speak out about bad practice
in the UK TV industry. They are labelled difficult and unreliable. They are
told they are thin-skinned and whiny. In my experience, those producers being
confronted with their own shortcomings often turn out to be the ones with a wafer-thin
epidermis. They are always so very hurt by any suggestion that they may not be
the most benign, thoughtful and nurturing of producers. Even when we have
multiple writers making multiple reports about shows that have succumbed to
chaos and toxicity. Even when their staff turnover is so acute that there is a
permanent ‘Sorry You’re Leaving’ cake in the office kitchen.<o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
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By the way, I feel I should say at this point that my
writing experiences in 2018 have been great. I’ve worked on well-run shows with
talented, thoughtful and respectful producers. The sort of producers that inspire
loyalty and hard work without demanding it. However, my good experiences have
only served to make me more determined to improve the experiences of writers on
some of the more toxic UK shows. <o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
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So, I have created these resolutions to help producers move
beyond the knee-jerk denial and into acceptance. I’m sure they will be taken in
the spirit in which it is intended.<o:p></o:p></div>
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*looks to camera*</div>
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<b>1. I will pay writers.</b></div>
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We’ll start with something easy. If you are
asking writers to produce written work for you; then you need to pay them: <a href="https://writersguild.org.uk/wggb_campaigns/free-is-not-an-option/" target="_blank">Free Is Not An Option</a>. Writing
is not a higher calling, it’s a job. We don’t do this for spiritual
enlightenment. We do it to pay the mortgage, electric bill, council tax etc. So,
if you are asking for anything beyond a few pages of a pitch, do not clutch
your pearls at the mention of remuneration. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Actually, you should be the person to bring
up the sticky subject of money. You’re the one who knows what budget is available.
Basically, you shouldn’t be crossing your fingers under the desk and hoping nobody
mentions the fee. And this applies to all written work including ‘shadow
scripts’. Which brings us on to…</div>
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<span style="text-indent: -18pt;"><b>2. I will trust writers to write.</b></span></div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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The rise of the shadow script is not a lost
Harry Potter book. It is a divisive and inefficient way to find writers for long-running
shows by asking prospective writers to write their own version of a script that
is already being written by a commissioned writer. <o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
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It relies on prospective writers having the
time and resources to produce a script that will never be made and cannot
be used by them in any other context. Writers are expected to hit deadlines,
take notes and produce multiple drafts of these scripts, often for free or a
reduced fee. <o:p></o:p></div>
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So, producers are asking for full
commitment from writers on these scripts in terms of time, energy and talent
but are unwilling to pay. This means some writers need to write the scripts in
amongst day jobs, other projects and childcare/family responsibilities. This impacts
significantly of writers with children and writers under financial pressure. In
other words, it limits diversity and equality. <o:p></o:p></div>
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And I would question the value of these
scripts beyond proving that a writer knows how to follow a layout guide and can
remember the names of the regular characters. It smacks of looking for biddable
writers who can churn out a cookie-cutter script without any spark or a sense the
writers’ voice. Shouldn’t long-running series be looking for originality and
freshness? Shouldn’t there be enough time built into the schedule to allow new
writers to learn how the show works as they work through the drafts?<o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
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Possibly the worst thing about many of the shadow
scripts is the lack of feedback. Often writers wait weeks and even months after
they have handed in their scripts to hear whether they have been successful.
This needs to change…</div>
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<span style="text-indent: -18pt;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
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<span style="text-indent: -18pt;"><b>3. I will improve my communication skills.</b></span></div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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This is a problem across the industry.
There is a particular UK show that often takes over 6 months to respond to the
required episode pitches from their writing team. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This means writers are left in limbo, not
knowing whether their pitches are good or bad and whether they are still a
valued member of the writing team. That’s six months of self-doubt and
self-recrimination. And most writers deal with enough of that without it being
casually built into the job. <o:p></o:p></div>
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In 2018, the actors’ union Equity ran their
extremely successful <a href="https://www.thestage.co.uk/news/2018/leading-theatres-and-casting-directors-sign-up-to-yesorno-audition-campaign/" target="_blank">#YesOrNo</a> campaign. It recognised that not letting actors
know whether they have been successful after an audition is both disrespectful and
damaging to actors’ mental health. Many theatres and casting directors signed
up to a promise to let actors know within a reasonably short period of time whether
they had got the part or not. Perhaps this basic courtesy could now be extended
to writers? <o:p></o:p></div>
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For example, the development producer who
went on maternity leave in the middle of working with me but promised to be in
touch as soon as the baby was born to continue the project (a book adaptation).
The next thing I heard about that project was when I saw a trailer for it. Apparently,
they had dumped me in favour of another writer. At least that’s what I assume
happened. No-one ever had the common courtesy to let me know.<o:p></o:p></div>
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And it’s not just about commissions. Please
let us know when our script editors have been sacked/promoted. Suddenly hearing
a new voice at the end of the line without warning is discombobulating to say
the least. And if you’re thinking about major changes to a story, bring us into
the discussion. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Make sure all the important dates are in our
diaries as soon as possible. That includes delivery dates, script meetings, read
throughs and first day of shooting. Don’t assume that writers are at your beck
and call 24/7 for the rest of their natural lives once they sign a contract. We
have lives and relationships that require time, energy and planning.<o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
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It’s not unreasonable to expect a decent
work/life balance. And to that end…</div>
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<span style="text-indent: -18pt;"><b>4. I will no longer pretend that chaos =
creativity.</b></span></div>
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<b><o:p></o:p></b></div>
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Every time I
think I’ve heard the worst horror story about unreasonable demands being made
on writers, I hear another that is even more outrageous. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
I know of writers who were forced to write quick turnover
drafts whilst their children were seriously ill, whilst they were seriously ill
or whilst sitting by the hospital bed of their dying sister. I know a writer
who was given script notes on the day of his mother’s funeral. All of these
outrageous demands were made because of last minute story changes or the late intervention
of a senior producer.<o:p></o:p></div>
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And that was the case when, on a primetime
ITV show, I was asked to come down to London at short notice for a script
meeting on a Monday morning. I didn’t get back to Leeds until Friday evening. The
producer had to send a runner out to Marks and Sparks to get me clean knickers
and a toothbrush.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Luckily the only thing I had to worry about
at home was my milk going out of date and my plants not being watered. Had I
been a parent or carer, it would have been an entirely different story. I would
have been unable to drop everything and just walk away. Another example of bad
practice impacting diversity and equality. <o:p></o:p></div>
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A year later, on the same show, it happened
again. Only this time I knew to bring an overnight bag. Still, every morning I
had to check out of my hotel and then check back in when I returned there in the
evening. This was because the producers had no sense of how much work was
required to implement their story changes. I’m a good and quick writer but I
cannot restructure and rewrite a 90 minute script in two days. <o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
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The thing is, the first time you turn over
a script in a truncated amount of time, you feel like a hero. You’re exhausted
but you did it! You saved the show! Indeed, people will congratulate you for ‘taking
one for the team’ and ‘going above and beyond’. <o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
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But it’s never just a one-off. Too many
shows have a culture of huge last-minute story changes and a slow turnover on
notes. Often one of the problems is senior/exec producers sweeping in at the
last minute and demanding huge changes that force a writer into a page one
rewrite just at the point when a script should be sent to the various Heads of
Department. <o:p></o:p></div>
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No-one can properly do their job until the script
is fit to be seen by the production team. That means the script editor and
writer are then put under pressure to turn over new drafts too quickly. I call
them ‘fast and nasty’ drafts. They are written in the fug of stress sweat
amongst pizza delivery boxes. And they are simply not good drafts. The dialogue
will be on the nose and over written, plot holes will slip by unnoticed and the
structure will become shaky. But as long as the damn thing is delivered on
time.<o:p></o:p></div>
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So, if you are the sort of producer who is
buying clean knickers for your writers or giving them notes as they lay a parent
to rest, you’re a ‘fast and nasty’ producer.</div>
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<span style="text-indent: -18pt;"><b>5. I will be honest with myself about diversity and
equality.</b></span></div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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<div style="text-align: justify;">
In 2018, the WGGB released their <a href="https://writersguild.org.uk/equalitywrites/" target="_blank">Equality Writes</a> report into gender equality in the UK Film and TV industry. The figures
were shocking. Only 16% of working film writers in the UK are female, and only
14% of prime-time TV is written by women. The Guild had had to secure funding
and commission the report after years of TV commissioners insisting that things
were getting better for female writers. They said the same thing about BAME
writers and writers with disabilities.<o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
In the face of overwhelming evidence to the
contrary, the reaction was initially on the defensive side. And when I say
defensive, I mean Great Wall of China levels of defence. But we were ready for
that and we had the statistics on our side. And slowly and surely, the big players
are accepting that something must be done. We’ve a long way to go but there are
some extremely positive things happening. And they are not just schemes and
competitions. <o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
But the most important thing that producers
can do is be honest with themselves. If you are looking at an all-white writing
team on your long-running series then something is very wrong. And it is down
to you make changes. And it’s okay to admit that you don’t know what those
changes should be. We know people who can help with that.<o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<o:p><br /></o:p></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
I hope that 2019 is a truly extraordinary
year of TV and film production in the UK and that this is the year that we
learn to respect and listen to each other. Rest assured that the Writers’ Guild
will continue to push, cajole and generally kick down doors for writers.<a href="https://writersguild.org.uk/about/top-ten-reason-to-join-wggb/" target="_blank"> Do come and join in!</a><o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
<br />Lisa Holdsworthhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03698897564460943227noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3926835221308398866.post-71916468032073226672016-08-22T14:41:00.001+01:002016-08-22T14:41:18.060+01:00We All Had To Start Somewhere. <div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
About three weeks ago, I made a pledge to stop tweeting
about Jeremy Corbyn and the Labour Party leadership race. I still think it was
the right decision and forms part of my attempted ‘light not heat’ social media
policy (at which I often fail miserably). Still, the last thing the whole issue
needs is another gob on a stick firing off half-thought through jokes and
sleights. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
For the record, I am neither a full blown-Corbynista nor a
Smithite. I don’t think Jezza is a cross between Dumbledore and Gandalf sent to
save us from the evil forces of VolderBlair and the Red Tories. Neither do I think
he is the love-child of Fidel Castro and L. Ron Hubbard leading his mindless
followers into some sort of anti-Semitic/misogynist Jonestown. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
However, this morning, I came as close as I had to breaking
my self-imposed embargo. At a rally last night, Corbyn is reported to have said
“There is a poet, a painting, a novel, a play in all of us”. There was then a
flurry of tweets that were the social media equivalent of a long eye roll and a
deep sigh. Comments included “Don’t encourage them”, “There isn’t one in me, I
went this morning” and suggestions that literary agents would be crying out in
pain. Most of those comments were made in jest. Just cheap shots, the usual fast-fingered
responses. Not particularly funny, but not the end of the world.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
I will say this however. My mum left school at 14 and she
paints, sews, cooks, writes poetry, embroiders, gardens and does marvellous
things with a glue gun. It makes her happy and interesting and interested and skilled and means she has a
way to show the world just how bloody brilliant she is. In fact, most of my
family have some sort of creative outlet – we’re a very talented bunch. That’s
probably why when I announced I wanted to be writer nobody rolled their eyes
and told me to get a proper bloody job. Also, because they are not spiteful
twats. I don’t think Mr Corbyn was suggesting that everyone should have their
inner books published or their own wall at the Tate. I think he was saying that
everyone should have a chance to express and enrich themselves through equal
access to opportunity and education at all stages of life. It sort of feels like something that everyone in the Labour Party should be supporting.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Anyway, I digress…<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
So, then I saw a couple of writers respond in an equally dismissive
manner to the quote. One suggested that it was annoying when people s/he meets
casually find out s/he is a writer, the immediate response is to say “I’ve
written a script”. The writer went on to say that s/he had no interest in some
random person’s script and s/he wished they would keep them to themselves.
There were other similar responses from some fellow writers. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<i>Apologies for the clumsiness of that last paragraph. It’s deliberately
vague and gender-neutral as I don’t want to unleash a mob on the writers in
question. These are the times we live in. </i><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Something about this response got my back up and pushed my
buttons. I wanted to tweet back “Well, who did you ask to read your first
script? And how much courage did that take?” Because one of the most formative moments
in a writer’s life is the first time you ask someone who isn’t your
mum/mate/hairdresser to read your script. The first time you seek out someone
who has the career you would dearly love to pursue and clumsily hand over your
precious word-baby. That fateful day when you take what feels like the biggest
gamble of your life. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Because up until that moment, you’ve rather audaciously
decided that you might have some talent. You’ve twatted about at your computer
for weeks, months, maybe even years. You’ve actually managed to write
something (already an achievement). And ever since then you’ve been oscillating
between thinking it might be ‘alright’ or ‘absolute crap’ but now you need to
find out. So, you’ve called in a favour, screwed up your courage, cyber-stalked
a writer or you’ve happened across one and you are taking it as a sign. However
you approach it, it’s pretty bloody scary. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
My magic moment was finding out that a bloke I worked with
was married to Kay Mellor’s daughter. It took me weeks to ask him if he would
get his mother-in-law to read my script. He told me he would put it on the pile
and she probably wouldn’t get around to it for months. Luckily for me (and to
Kay’s absolute credit) she read it in a few weeks, told me everything that was
wrong with it without dashing my hopes and six weeks later I was writing a
trial for Playing The Field. I didn’t get it, but a year later I was a commissioned
writer on Fat Friends. The gamble paid off and I will owe Kay a debt of
gratitude for the rest of my career.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
And I feel that the best way I can show that gratitude is to
not pull the ladder up behind me now that I have had some success. So, when
people take their shot with me and ask me to read their script, I always say
yes. People have approached me on social media, via friends, at events and at
even at weddings. And I salute them.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Now, I’ll be honest with you, approximately 90% of those
scripts have been bloody awful. A couple have been so bad that I have really
struggled to find something constructive to say about them. But some have been
a delight. Some have been clearly written as therapy and are intensely personal.
Some have been written after the writer has been on some expensive screenplay
structure course and need to be a bit more personal. But they’ve all been
written by a fellow human being. And that’s the important bit. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Reading other people’s scripts is a pain the arse and a huge
responsibility but how else will we find new talent. If you have a no-read
policy that is between you and your God, but I think you are a selfish prick.
Someone has to find those rough diamonds. I appreciate that it’s not your paying job
but if you establish a few boundaries it can do wonders for your karma. So,
here are my rules for reading…<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<ol>
<li>I say yes to everyone who asks me to read their script.
Especially now that I realise most people will never get round to sending me
one.</li>
<li>I warn them that all I can offer is feedback. I can’t
further their careers, find them an agent or introduce them to Spielberg.</li>
<li>I send all new writers to the BBC Writers Room site. It
is an extraordinary resource.</li>
<li>I don’t read to a deadline. I’m not providing a
pre-delivery proof-reading service for Red Planet entries. It could take months
for me to read it.</li>
<li>I give honest feedback. No bullshit. But I NEVER tell
anyone that they should give up. That’s not my call and, anyway, it would make
me a prick.</li>
</ol>
<o:p></o:p><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<o:p> </o:p>Equally, there are ways that new writers could make the task
of reading a little less onerous.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<ol>
<li>Ask nicely. Show an interest in my work, be polite and I’ll
reciprocate.</li>
<li>There is no excuse for a badly laid-out script. There are
hundreds of layout guides online. Learn to Google. Same goes for poor punctuation
and spelling. As I said, I’m not your proof-reader.</li>
<li>I’m also not your script editor. Don’t send me first
drafts. Or unfinished work. And don’t send me the whole series/novel. Send one
script/three chapters – max.</li>
<li>Be patient not pushy. It’s okay to follow-up after a few
weeks, not a few hours.</li>
<li>Be open to robust and constructive criticism. If you just
want someone to read your script and tell you how brilliant you are then you
are pursuing the wrong career. Being a writer is to be criticised. By the same
token, don’t be a pushover. Be a passionate but polite advocate for your own
work – that’s impressive.</li>
</ol>
<o:p></o:p><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<o:p> </o:p>Obviously, now I’m leaving myself open to everyone with a
knock-off copy of Final Draft asking me to read their opus. So be it. Someone
did it for me.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Thank you, Kay. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
Lisa Holdsworthhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03698897564460943227noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3926835221308398866.post-87576743099781728782016-01-27T13:16:00.005+00:002016-01-27T13:19:33.492+00:00Bursting The Westminster Bubble<div class="MsoNormal">
Westminster Palace, the home of both the House of Commons
and House of Lords, is in a shocking state of repair. It is estimated that it
will take <a href="http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-33184160" target="_blank">£3.5 billion to sort the place out </a>and stop it falling down
around the ears of the MPs, but only if they move out for 6 years.<br />
<br />
There’s a metaphor in there somewhere. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
However, I’m all about turning frowns upside down and
looking on the bright side. This enforced exile from the hallowed halls of
Westminster should be seen as an opportunity. And that is why I have started a
petition requesting that whilst Westminster Palace has the builders in, parliament
goes on tour. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I think the whole shebang should decamp to somewhere else. I
don’t care where; Dorset, Birmingham, Liverpool, Bradford, Swansea, Inverness
or the Isle of Man. I just think it’s time that the Westminster Bubble floated
somewhere else. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I want our out-of-touch, self-obsessed, insular politicians
to experience a city that is less well funded than London. I want them to go
somewhere with a different infrastructure, cultural landscape and way of life.
I want our politicians to try and understand the day to day lives the people
living and working outside London. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My fantasy would be for the whole lot of them to spend 6
years in a Travelodge, halfway up the M1 whilst they hold their debates in a conference
room with limited wifi. I want to take away their subsidised bars and
restaurants and let them get their queue for their lunches in a mini-Tesco or
Subway. I want them to get to work on a crowded Abello train or a steamy bus on
a rainy day. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It’s not going to happen, but let’s make them at least talk
about it. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<a href="https://petition.parliament.uk/petitions/119984" target="_blank">Please sign the petition and share it with your like-minded friends HERE. </a><br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
Lisa Holdsworthhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03698897564460943227noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3926835221308398866.post-90118725497366251892016-01-07T15:55:00.002+00:002016-01-07T16:10:54.821+00:00It's Just Lunch? It's just a rip-off. <br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Public Service Announcement: I am about to use this blog to
have a protracted but hopefully amusing rant about <a href="http://www.itsjustlunch.com/" target="_blank">It’s Just Lunch or IJL</a>: an
American dating agency now operating in the UK, in the hopes of saving other
single people from wasting their time, money and energy like I did. . There is a
little bit about writing, but not much. Feel free to give it a swerve. Also,
all names have been changed to protect the innocent.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I needn’t tell you what a solitary life being a jobbing
writer can be. All those weeks on end at your desk talking only to imaginary
people while just about managing to maintain the very basic levels of personal hygiene.
It’s bloody brilliant.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">However, there are times when a writer’s mind turns to away
from literary pursuits and on to matters of the heart (and groin). After months
of writing about human interaction, I have been known to feel the need for a
little human interaction myself. But, after a self-imposed writing exile, it’s
a bit like when they introduce a new penguin to the penguin enclosure at the
zoo. It takes a little while for the other penguins to get used to my strange
smell and share their fish, Or something. And so, over the years, I have found
the whole dating/finding a significant other a little bit problematic. It’s not
that I mind being single but at my age you do begin to wonder whether you are
ever going to see another person’s genitals ever again. By the time you’ve
thrown your third pack of expired condoms away, you start to panic. I mean, the
safest sex is no sex but I’m not that risk-averse.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">In these moments of panic I usually resolve to take the bull
by the horns. In all honesty, that usually means updating my Guardian Soulmates
profile or re-joining OK Cupid again. I do it with hope in my heart and a fire
in my loins, but after the third month of fending off blokes who want to talk
about their ex-wives I begin to lose hope. Maybe I’m not very good at dating.
Maybe I’m too picky, too desperate, too political, too flippant, and too gobby;
but a penguin can’t change her feathers. And so, usually around the fourth crappy
date I give it up as a bad job, delete my profile and put my romantic future
back into the lap of the gods. The thing is, whilst I’ve written plenty of
meet-cutes, I’ve yet to have one. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">About 8 years ago, during one of my flurries of romantic
desperation, I joined a dating agency called It’s Just Lunch. They were an
American company but they’d set up an office (sold a franchise as it turned
out) in Leeds. The company supposedly does what it says on the tin. They arrange
a lunch date for you with a suitable match. IJL book the table; make sure the
restaurant know you are on a blind date and that you are treated well. At the
end of the date, if you are interested in each other you are supposed to
exchange business cards and arrange a second date. If there hasn’t been a
spark, then you are supposed to speak your personal and highly-trained ‘dating
director’ who will use your feedback to find you your next and better match. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Well, that’s how it is supposed to work in theory. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">So, for £200 IJL promised that Helen, my dating director
would find me three handpicked men to meet my exacting standards. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I now realise that Helen had probably just
bought the IJL franchise after seeing an ad online. I also suspect she had no
experience whatsoever.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Still, there I was in her posh new office telling her what I
looked for in a man apart from a pulse. I told her that I wasn’t comfortable
with massive age-gaps; five years either side of my own age seemed reasonable.
Someone employed but they didn’t need to be rich. Someone with left-leaning
politics, perhaps with an interest in the arts and popular culture. Looks?
Well, perhaps someone a little taller than me but being no oil painting myself,
I wasn’t setting the bar too high. After all, beauty is in the eye of the beholder.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">And so I went on my first date with Rafiq. We were supposed
to be meeting for lunch, but he arrived straight from having had a burger, so he
didn’t want to eat. As a self-identifying fat girl, I was too self-conscious to
eat in front of him. So, just a drink? He didn’t drink. He also didn’t talk
about politics (with women). He didn’t go to the theatre or read novels or
watch TV much. He did, however, still live with his parents and his Nan. And
that was because he was about 12 years my junior. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Two days later, Helen, my Dating Director rang for the feedback
session. She was like Cilla Black on Blind Date, convinced that she’d be buying
a wedding hat before long. I quickly disabused her of that notion. She promised
that she would use my feedback to find me a true Prince Charming and she would
be in touch. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">The next time I heard from her was when a cheque and a note
scribbled on a compliment slip arrived in the post. Instead of Prince Charming
I received a partial refund. Apparently there was not a bloke in the whole of
Leeds that met my criteria. Or maybe I didn’t meet theirs? It’s not a great
boost to the ego to be told by someone who claims to be a great matchmaker that
there is no-one out there for you. To be honest, it sort of confirms your
deepest, darkest fears about yourself. I can’t remember what I spent the refund
on. I hope it was something nice. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Eight years or so later, I had all but forgotten about It’s
Just Lunch. However, they had not forgotten about me. I was on a train to
Manchester when they first tried to call me. I hate sales calls at the best of
time, but someone trying to give you the hard sell when you’re saying “Look,
I’m going into a tunnel now. There really is no point… Hello? Hello? Oh fuck”.
The woman was also calling from Florida, which didn’t improve the standard of
communication. When she called back after the third tunnel I didn’t answer.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">But the woman from Florida was persistent. Over the next
couple of weeks she rang me repeatedly until finally she caught me on a Friday
night; the start of another weekend where I had nothing to do and no-one to do
it with. So, when she assured me that IJL was now a more streamlined business I
listened. My ears may have pricked up when she told me of their fantastic
success rate, customer satisfaction and great risk-free introductory offer.
They were offering me 12 dates in 18 months or I would get my money back.
However, she assured me that I wouldn’t need 12 dates. Their personalised,
pinpoint-accurate matchmaking service would probably find me the man of my
wildest dreams within three dates. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Yes! I know it was utter bullshit now. Of course I do. But
at the time, I so desperately wanted it to be the truth that I gave her my
credit card number. And signed a contract. I want to be completely frank in
this account of events, but I can’t bring myself to tell you what I paid to
re-join It’s Just Lunch. I’m too ashamed.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I was a bit annoyed that my first date was in London, but
Nicky my new Dating Director asked me how far was too far to travel for the love
of your life. Hard to argue against that one. Over the years, my wish list for
a potential mate had not really changed. So, whilst my lunch with James at a
very expensive hotel restaurant (£20 for a tiny salad!) was very pleasant, he
wasn’t a good match for me. I wasn’t for him. He was a corporate lawyer in his
fifties with a public-school education and was clearly looking for the same.
Still, he was very polite and spent the requisite hour chatting with me over
lettuce that must have been picked by vestal virgins from the Elysium fields to
justify the price.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">You can take the girl out of Yorkshire…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">In amongst the dull small talk, James said something that
should have rung an alarm for me. He told me he had done a little digging into
IJL and whilst they claimed to have offices in <a href="http://www.itsjustlunch.com/locations/?r=6&co=UK&st=" target="_blank">London, Leeds and Dublin</a>, he was
pretty sure that everything was run from the call centre in Florida. His first
IJL date had been with a woman from London. IJL had booked them a restaurant
table in Wimbledon. However, when they met they realised that they were both
from North London and had both spent over an hour travelling to the restaurant
when they could have met somewhere local. James commented that IJL’s lack of
local knowledge could be a bit of an issue. He was right.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">When I gave my feedback on my date with James, I mentioned
that I would prefer to date someone a little more local. Not just in Leeds, but
perhaps in Manchester, York or Newcastle. Of course, to Florida-based Nicky
these place names meant absolutely nothing. I tried to explain that it took me
about three hours to get from my front door to a restaurant in Central London,
not to mention the cost of train tickets or an overnight hotel stay if it was
an evening date. Nicky tried to give me the whole ‘no distance too far to
travel for true love’ bullshit again. I told her it wasn’t just about the
distance and money, it was also the time out of my working day. I asked again,
weren’t there any men in the North? Nicky told me they would look for someone
nearer to home, but in the interim I would have to keep travelling to London.
We came to an agreement that I would let her know when I would be in London and
she would find me a date for that night. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">About five months later, she finally managed to do that. I
was down in London for a friend’s birthday party, so Nicky set me up with David
for a Sunday Lunch date at a restaurant in Covent Garden. A restaurant that it
turned out was actually closed on Sundays. So, I ended up standing outside for
30 minutes smiling at random strangers hoping that they might be David (IJL
dates are blind dates, remember).<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">And one of them might have been. He might have caught sight
of me and thought ‘fuck that’. I don’t know. Because Nicky could not give me
explanation for how she had managed to book a table at a closed restaurant or
why David hadn’t bothered to turn up. She could barely apologise for the
humiliation or inconvenience. Indeed she seemed quite hurt that I was holding
her responsible. She assured me that she would find out what happened to David.
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Two months later and I hadn’t heard a thing. I sent an email
asking for my money back. That seemingly got someone’s attention. Suddenly I
had a new Dating Director; Tom. He assured me that my non-date was an
aberration not to be repeated. I told him that getting stood up was one thing,
but getting stood up 250 miles from home was quite another. He said he
understood, but told me that most of the men they had available were in London
and I would either have to accept the dates offered or forfeit my money.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I should have told him to fuck off right there and then.
But, as I said, it was a shameful amount of money and I wasn’t prepared to
spunk it on one dull lunch and a no-show. I told him to recommence the search
for Mr Holdsworth.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I didn’t hear anything for another three months. In that
time it appeared that Tom had moved on and I had my third dating director;
Anita. She also assured me that the mistakes of the past would not be repeated
and told me how she was committed to finding me happiness come hell or high
water. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">However, she had something delicate to discuss with me. She
noticed that I had said I wasn’t interested in men who were more than five
years older or younger than me. I replied that I thought it was a decent
window. She wondered if she might be frank with me. What I needed to understand
was that men just are not interested in women who are the same age or older
than them. In her experience, men were really only interested in women who were
<u>at least</u> 10 years younger. So, if perhaps if I could be a bit more flexible…
I pointed out that a company who had promised me a perfect, tailor-made match
shouldn’t really ask for flexibility or compromise. And, more importantly, did
they ask the men to be flexible when it came to the age of their matches?
Apparently not.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">So, six months after my non-date with David, Anita sent me
on my next date with Brian. At least this time the restaurant, an expensive
West End steakhouse, was open. It was also busy. So, me sitting at a table
nursing a glass of wine and not ordering any food did not go down very well.
After an hour, I gave in and ordered an overpriced steak and chips. The ladies
on the table next to me realised that I had been stood up and gave me their
carafe of red wine. It was an okay steak. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Anita was apparently absolutely horrified that I had been
let down. Still, perhaps Brian was dead in a ditch or had been kidnapped by
ISIS. She promised to get to the bottom of it. She never did. Instead, she
arranged another date with someone called Robert for the first week in January.
This time she didn’t call to discuss a time or whether Robert met my criteria.
She just emailed me the restaurant reservation just before Christmas. I emailed
back asking for some details. She did not respond. However, I was not prepared
to treat Robert in the way I had been treated by previous dates. So, I booked a
train and hotel room and made my way down to London. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">At least this time Anita did actually call to tell me that
my date had backed out. However, I was already in London by that time having
travelled on a non-refundable ticket and booked a non-refundable room. It had
cost me another £200 to be stood for a third time. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Not a complete bust. At short notice I was able to spend the
evening eating pretty decent tapas with one of my oldest, bestest friends –
Sisters before misters. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Still, when I got back to my unnecessary hotel room (which
had no kettle, surely illegal in the UK) I did what I should have done the
first time I was stood up. I wrote to IJL to tell them to keep their fucking
money and to never get in touch with me again. In the space of 18 months that
shitty company has cost me fortune, wasted my time and sapped what little
dating confidence I actually had. Last night I was left feeling hurt, angry and
utterly stupid. So, I am doing the one thing that I know I’m good at; I’m
writing about it, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">And if it stops someone else handing over their hard-earned
cash and their fragile hearts to this set of utter fucking con artistes, then
that’s all to the good. I suspect their true business plan is similar to a gym.
They sign you up promising that you’ll have a personal trainer who will design
a personal fitness regime and motivate you to feel the burn until you’re thin
and fabulous. In reality they just take your joining fee, show you how the treadmills
work and then forget about you.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">So, my love life is back in the lap of the Gods. Maybe that
meet-cute is just around the corner?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Lisa Holdsworthhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03698897564460943227noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3926835221308398866.post-53093974115904089302016-01-04T13:20:00.000+00:002016-01-04T13:24:44.043+00:00Promises, promises, promises. <div class="MsoNormal">
There are two things I
struggle to do during the festive period; dieting and writing. And for much the
same reasons. There all those parties and distractions and drinking Baileys for
breakfast; it increases the waistline not the word count. I rationalise it by
telling myself that even if I were to bash out a pitch for every window I open
on my advent calendar, there’d be no-one sober enough around to read it anyway.
And so, after downing tools for the festive period, I am back with a few new
words for the new term.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
A couple of years ago,
I wrote a blog called <span lang="EN-US"><span lang="EN-GB"><a href="http://deadlinesanddiamonds.blogspot.co.uk/2013/01/10-new-years-resolutions-that-every.html" target="_blank">10 New Year Resolutions Every Writer Should Break</a></span></span> . This
year I’m giving you the 5 New Year Writing Resolutions that I’m personally
going to try and keep. Of course, it’s entirely up to you whether you join me
in my virtuous pursuit of the higher literary ground. I also realise that it
might be inviting my fellow writers to police my habits for the next twelve
months. I’m not. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
However, if you see me
on a branch of Greggs after the second of January, you do have my permission to
drag me out before I can purchase a Steak Bake.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="text-indent: -18pt;"><br /></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0px;">
<span style="text-indent: -18pt;"><b>1. </b></span><b style="text-indent: -18pt;">Get my
priorities straight.</b></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraph" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It’s been a weird old
year with lots of distractions including voluntary work, family upheaval and
binge watching six seasons of Parenthood. I tried to establish Monday as my
admin day when I would clear my to-do list, my inbox and my head so that I
could get cracking with the actual writing Tuesday through Friday. The truth
is, it’s not working (in both senses of the word). <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Admin begets more
admin. You reply to fifteen emails and you get fifteen back. So Admin Monday
becomes Follow-up Tuesday becomes What Now? Wednesday becomes Leave Me Alone
Thursday becomes Oh Fuck It Friday. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And now I’m wondering
if I’ve got my priorities skew-whiff. My job is writing. Everything else - the
talks, the meetings, the event organising – are not. That’s not to say I’ll be
giving it all up. There is nothing I love more than being in a room with other writers.
However, there’s a point when you start to feel like a fraud. When it feels
like being a writer is your job, not actually knuckling down and doing the
bloody work.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So, Admin Mondays are
no more.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="text-indent: -18pt;"><br /></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0px;">
<span style="text-indent: -18pt;"><b>2. </b></span><b style="text-indent: -18pt;">I will
differentiate between writing that is not to my taste and bad writing.</b></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraph" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
One of the new phrases
I added to my vocabulary this year was ‘Hot Take’. Because, you know, I’m so
down with the kids and that. Do you want to see me twerk? <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
2015 was the Year of
Rushing To Judgement whether it was about election poll numbers, pictures of
alleged jihadists in the bath or how deep you should bow at the cenotaph. And I
have not been immune to it. I have watched first episodes of shows and decided
that a series was bobbins. Even though I know that writing opening episodes is a
Herculean task. Conversely I have been swayed by other people's opinions on
social media. I’ve watched series to the bitter end despite not really enjoying
or understanding the show because everyone on Twitter was calling it the best
thing since Breaking Bad/The Wire/Crossroads. But worst of all, I have
dismissed shows as terrible or badly-written just because they weren’t to my
taste.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It has to stop and for
a good reason. We have a battle on our hands at the moment to save the BBC. And
one of the most prevalent and irritating arguments against Auntie Beeb seems to
be; Why should I pay my licence fee when I don’t like Strictly Come Dancing/Top
Gear/University Challenge/That Awful Bloody Pop Music They Insist On Playing
Morning, Noon and Night On Radio One? <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It so easy to get
dragged into playing a game of fantasy channel controller where you decide what
your £145.50 a year should and shouldn't pay for. It’s a dangerous game that
has already put 6Music and the Asian Network under threat and led to BBC Three
moving online. It chips away at vulnerable services and content. The fact is it doesn’t matter if your televisual diet
consists purely of Wolf Hall and BBC Four documentaries about canal boats. It’s
irrelevant if you only turn on the box to watch Mrs Brown’s Boys and Eastenders.
The Wolf Hall mob pay for Eastenders and vice versa. It is a beautifully
balanced and unique system. No wonder the politicians loath it.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So, I’m going to
strive not to play their game any longer. I will respect the writers, producers,
techies etc who work hard to get stuff up on screen and I will give it a fair
crack of the whip; at least two episodes. And if I still don’t like it, then I’ll
turn off the damn TV.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
However, I still
reserve the right to unpick, discuss and analyse – respectfully. I consider it
part of my job as a writer. And perhaps the powerful person who skulks around
social media ‘calling out’ writers who discuss other writers’ work could
respect that? Flipping heck, love. We all Google ourselves to see what folk are
saying about us, but we don’t advertise the fact.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="text-indent: -18pt;"><br /></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0px;">
<span style="text-indent: -18pt;"><b>3</b>. </span><b style="text-indent: -18pt;">I will
learn to talk confidently about money.</b></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraph" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The Writers’ Guild is
currently running a campaign called <a href="https://writersguild.org.uk/wggb_campaigns/free-is-not-an-option/" target="_blank">Free Is Not An Optio</a>n. We want to talk frankly about the increasing amount of
work that writers are being to be asked to do for free. And we’ve all done it. A
pitch turns into a treatment which turns into a series bible which turns into a
pilot script. And the longer this goes on, the harder it gets to mention the
money. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Although, sometimes
remuneration is dangled in front of writer like a carrot on a stick. I’ve lost
count of the number of times that a development producer has told me that s/he
is ‘trying to find some money’ for me. In the words of someone wiser than me;
Do. Or do not. There is no try. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Bottom line? A company
should have a proper budget for development not some ad-hoc arrangement based
on goodwill and crossed fingers.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
However, I am going to
take more responsibility for the financial aspects of my career from now. I
will discuss money in the first meeting. I will tell development bods that
whilst I am very excited about working with them, I am also excited about
paying my mortgage. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This is my job, not my
hobby. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>4. I will no longer
stand for workplace bullying and bad work practices.</b><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It’s another thing
that most writers will encounter during their careers; the late notes, sudden
story changes, the quick turnover on yet another draft and the subsequent
cancelled arrangements/life. And it’s getting out of hand.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Look, all writers joke
about procrastination and working up to the last second of a deadline. However,
the reality is that a lot of writers have no choice but to write into the wee
hours, over the weekend and whilst supposedly on holiday. It’s become so
prevalent that producers and script editors are not even apologising for it any
longer. It’s just assumed that a writer will take the punishment of
contradictory notes, too many drafts and tight turnovers. There is now no point
trying to explain that you are exhausted or on the verge of divorce or you’ve
eaten nothing but take away for a week. Because if you do complain? Well, you’re
a nightmare. You’re unprofessional. You can’t hack it.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Bullshit. If you are
running a show where it is consistently necessary for your writers to write
through the night or for weeks without a decent break, then YOU are being unprofessional.
You are running a production that is badly scheduled and managed. You need to
do your job better. Actually, it’s probably not just you that needs to do your
job better. It’s a probably a whole roomful of producers sticking their oar in
and gumming up the works.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The thing is, it’s the
law of diminishing returns. With each rushed draft, the writer gets further and
further away from what s/he wants to see on the screen. As the time ticks away,
the dialogue gets more on the nose, the plot becomes leakier and the characters
start doing stupid things. More damaging, with each massive rewrite a writer's confidence is eroded and that shows in tentative, run of the mill, risk-free scripts.<br />
<br />
When it comes to scripts, you can have it fast or
you can have it right. You can’t have both. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So, how to remedy
this? Well, this year I’m going to do the following:- <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
* I’m going to listen out for the tell-tale
signs of bad working practises. If a schedule is described as ‘a bit tight’ that
means it is impossible. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
* If there isn’t a
script schedule with deadlines for first drafts, second drafts and shooting scripts,
I’m going to ask for one. And I’m going to ask why the production is not
sticking to the schedule as significant dates sail by without comment. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
* I’m going to ask who
will be giving me notes and when. If the big boss (executive or commissioning
producer) isn’t reading my script until the day before it shoots, that’s a potential
problem. Because they could ask for big changes and I’ll have no option but to
take them on board. If they have to have an input, then it needs to be early
and often. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Let’s reject the
narrative of the great exec coming down from the mountain with the essential
note that will save the episode. It never happens like that. More often they
insist on a change that screws up the rest of the episode and negates months of
work. But they pay the wages, so no-one can say anything.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
* For my part, I will
inform the production of any holidays, family responsibilities or days when I
will not be available. In the past I’ve kept schtum and hoped that I could slip
away, worried that my having an actual life would be misinterpreted as a lack
of commitment to the production. But let’s stop pretending that shows get
better when they are turned into a competition to see who can work the most
unsociable hours. They don’t. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>5. Diversity,
diversity, diversity.</b><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’ve been trying to
improve the diversity of the characters I write for a long time. I’ve realised
it’s about so much more than just sticking someone called Mohammed in a scene
or making the doctor female. It’s all about listening, reading and educating
myself. In fact, it’s about shutting the fuck up and letting other people tell
me their stories before I start trying to write mine. I expect to be working on
this for the rest of my career. But then I love a learning curve. I will do
better. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
And so, I embark upon
2016 with hope in my heart, fire in my belly and dangerous levels of caffeine
in my bloodstream. I hope I get to shoot the breeze with a decent number of you
along the way. Here’s to the lead in your pencil!<o:p></o:p></div>
Lisa Holdsworthhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03698897564460943227noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3926835221308398866.post-70954065569896680132015-02-02T16:40:00.001+00:002015-02-03T11:02:59.515+00:00A Kick In The Teeth<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Rejection. It’s the one thing you can be sure of in this
job. It just comes with the territory. It’s part of the learning curve. It
makes you a better writer in the long run. You just have to get used to it.
That’s what everyone says.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">And they’re right. Still, fifteen years into my writing
career and it’s really not getting any easier. Every ‘no’ is still a hefty kick
in the stomach. So, perhaps what we really learn from rejection is how to cover
up how painful and demoralising a rejection can be. I’m not saying that’s a bad
thing. It’s a coping mechanism. And if we wailed and gnashed our teeth every
time we got a ‘thanks, but no thanks’ then we’d have no teeth left.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">We’re all so good at putting on our brave faces, but I want
to let mine slip just for a few minutes. I want to acknowledge how it feels to
have something you’ve worked so hard on put in the round file. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">It starts with the phone call or the email. Your heart
leaps when the phone rings or the inbox pings. This is the news you’ve been
waiting for, even though you’ve been pretending otherwise. You’ve played it
cool, tried get on with other things, tried not to get your hopes up. But, no news
is good news, right? Wrong. You know it’s not good news from the opening
sentence, the tone of voice, the opening apology. “Sorry it’s not better news”. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Often there is an explanation, a few cursory notes about tone, timing or depth.
A phrase that is used a lot is “We just couldn’t see it”. The thing is, I
could. I could see it glorious Technicolor, breathtaking Cinemascope and
Stereophonic sound. But, obviously, I couldn’t get you to see it. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">So, the first feeling that floods over you after you put the
phone down is a sting of shame. Yes, shame. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I love being a writer but I can’t shake the feeling that
it’s a slightly ludicrous occupation. Partly because it is a bit crazy to spend
your days getting imaginary people to talk to each other for a living. And
partly because I can’t help feeling that waking up one morning and declaring
myself a writer was an act of vainglorious self-delusion. Who the fuck did I
think I was? And from the moment that you make that declaration you’re waiting
to be found out. You’re waiting for someone to tap you on the shoulder and tell
you to stop making such a damn fool of yourself and get a proper bloody job.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">And that’s what every rejection feels like. Someone telling
you to grow up and stop kidding yourself.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">And then you have to compound the shame by telling other
people about the rejection; your agent, your friends, your parents. You instantly
regret telling them about having something in development. You wish you hadn’t told
them that you ‘had a good feeling about this one’. Of course, you played it
down and told everyone that the odds of getting it away were slim, but still…
And they all smiled and did that little mime, the crossed fingers. And then
they told you that it was ‘your turn’ and ‘about time’; except you know that it
just does not work like that.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Still, after the shame comes the anger. Why can’t those
bloody idiots see what’s under their noses? Don’t they know how much work you
put into this? You listened to their notes, you did what they asked and it
still wasn’t enough. That’s when you start coming up with the conspiracy
theories.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“They ruined my
beautiful idea with their crap notes.” If they were so crap you should have
said so. "They’re scared of my uncompromising tone and controversial subject
matter.” Hmm, probably not. “They like the idea, they’re just going steal it
and get someone else to write it.” Don’t be so bloody stupid. So, if you can’t
blame the commissioners and development execs, who do you blame? Look in the
mirror.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">The truth is that it doesn’t just feel like your idea has
been rejected, it’s feels like you’ve been rejected. My most recent knockback
was a doozy. It unfortunately coincided with me attending a conference where
lots of writers sat on panels talking about their big, successful shows.
Usually, I find that sort of thing invigorating. Mostly writers love to hear
about other writer’s successes. It means it’s possible. Every commissioning
story is proof that if you build it, they will come. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">But this time, it’s not how I felt. I looked at my
colleagues and I felt jealous. Not the good, motivating kind of jealousy; the
twisting, bitter kind. I started to list the things that were wrong with me. I
was too fat to be taken seriously. I wear the wrong clothes. My haircut is
wrong. My accent is too Northern, too coarse. I shoot my mouth off too easily. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">By the time I went back to my hotel I had resolved to delete
my blog. I was going to get liposuction, elocution lessons and a wig. I wanted
to throw my jeans and baseball boots away and replace them with one of those
great little black dresses that Nicola Shindler wears so well. I wanted
sparkly, kick-ass boots like Hilary Martin was wearing. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I wanted to be someone else. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">It’s not the first time I’ve felt that way, but it’s the
first time that writing has made me feel that way. So, how did I get myself out
of this shame spiral? I did what I should have done in the first place. I wrote
my damn way out of it. I wrote this blog. I finished a pitch document that I’d
been buggering about with for weeks and sent it off. I went to talk to a friend
about us making a short film. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I cannot change who I am. And who I am is my writing. The
moment I try to be something I am not, is the moment I should pack it in and
call it a day. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">And so, here I am coming out the other side. Like we all do,
all the time. It’s fucking hard work. It knocks a bit of your stuffing out
every time it happens. And I just wanted to acknowledge how hard it is for all
of us. I missed out the most important stage of the rejection process, but it’s
the most important one; telling other writers that you’ve had a knockback.
Because other writers will be hurt for you, angry for you, they’ll tell you not
to give up and they’ll mean every damn word. I know I do.</span>Lisa Holdsworthhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03698897564460943227noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3926835221308398866.post-22999103234428202362014-04-23T21:45:00.004+01:002014-04-23T21:45:50.441+01:00For those about to write, we salute you.<span style="font-family: Calibri;">And so, let us starts with the apologies. I write this in my
cups, under the influence, one over the eight, pissed. This blog comes after
the best of nights; a night on the lash with other writers. Very appropriate
for the 23<sup><span style="font-size: x-small;">rd</span></sup> of April 2014, Shakespeare’s 450<sup><span style="font-size: x-small;">th</span></sup> birthday.
Happy Birthday Bill! <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">And so I also think it is appropriate to sing the drunken praises
of my fellow scribes, those other daughters and sons of the written word. The
women and men who understand the human condition and bring it to life of on the
page screen, stage and page. Those astronauts in the outer space of empathy and
the search for truth. Ah, that’s pretentious babble but it’s not entirely off
target.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">You see the greatest thing about making a living from putting
pen to paper, finger to keyboard, arse to chair is your fellow travellers. That’s
what makes this odd choice of career sustainable. The realisation that you are
not the only one with that skewed view of the world, that exposed heart, that
need to chronicle. And it is a need, not a whim or a vague notion.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">And so the best moments of this odd life is not spent at the
desk but in the tavern, inn, pub or coffee shop. That moment when you realise
it’s not just you! There are other freaks that obsess over the words, over the
scenes, over the characters. The first time you squee over that episode, that
scene, that minor character. They get it, the minutiae. More importantly, they
get you. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">It’s an extraordinary moment. A feeling of belonging that
you never felt at school, at your first crappy job or even, whisper it, when
amongst your family.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">That is not to say that your nearest and dearest can’t be
taken on the journey. The box set and the book becomes your gift to those you
love. Never turn your nose up at a flat, rectangular gift from a writer. Our
heart and soul comes in those oblong boxes. It means we love you. In return,
buy us stationery. There is nothing more guaranteed to gladden a writer’s heart
than an unsullied page and the unused pen.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">And so on this holiest days, I salute you my sisters and
brothers of the pen. I share your frustrations, your tears, your triumphs and
your desire to be ‘got’. And I urge you to remember that there is strength in
numbers. The Writers’ Guild is there for you, manned and guided by your fellow
writers. Other writers are there for you. Reach out, we’ll be there. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Well, when we’ve got this draft in. You may need to be
patient.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Lisa Holdsworthhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03698897564460943227noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3926835221308398866.post-63938245827409550732014-04-15T13:26:00.000+01:002014-04-15T16:16:40.739+01:00They Say The Darndest Things...A few weeks ago, I had a
conversation with some fellow TV writers. Well, I say a conversation; it was
more a cathartic expulsion of bile and frustration. But then don’t all
conversations between writers ultimately end up that way? <br />
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
Anyway, the topic
under discussion was “things that TV Development Producers say”. Or
specifically, “things that Development Producers say that make you wish BBC
& ITV buildings had functioning windows so that you could throw yourself
out of them”. As I said, it was quite a cathartic discussion.</div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
Many of the producer quotes were
greeted with howls of painful recognition. We’d all heard them in meeting after
meeting. Those little clichés or go-to questions that they trot out in
every meeting with every writer. So much so, that they are now a trigger for involuntary
violent fantasies. But were we being fair? Do the producers even realise that they’re
doing it? Perhaps they have no idea that we’ve heard all their little sound bites
before? </div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
So, I’ve decide to give our
colleagues the benefit of the doubt, but offer this as a friendly guide to
things you shouldn’t say in development meetings. Especially if your windows
are open. </div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
I also provide a little guidance
on how a writer should/should not react to these pearls of wisdom. </div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">1. If you could sum this idea in one line…</b><br />
<u><br /></u><br />
<u>What You Shouldn’t Say</u><br />
If I could sum up my idea in one
line I wouldn’t need to write a script? Why must everything be boiled down to
the small paragraph that will appear in the Radio Times? It strikes me that if
you can’t grasp a concept that requires more than ten words you’re in the wrong
job.<br />
<u><br /></u><br />
<u>What You Should Say</u><br />
It’s Sherlock meets Breaking Bad.</div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><br /></b><br />
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">2. This is a great start/first draft.</b><br />
<u><br /></u><br />
<u>What You Shouldn’t Say</u><br />
A great start? A great fucking
start? Have you any idea how I’ve sweated over this? And do you really think I’d
send you an actual first draft? Writing this ruined my marriage, you prick. I
missed my kid’s Nativity play to get this to you.</div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<u><br /></u><br />
<u>What You Should Say</u><br />
I can’t wait to take it to the
next level. <br />
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><br /></b><br />
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">3. Why should we tell this story now?</b><br />
<u><br /></u><br />
<u>What You Shouldn’t Say</u><br />
Because I've only just had the idea. And why does it matter anyway? By the time you’ve ummed and ahhed over
it, we’ll be five years down the line. For fuck’s sake, aliens could have
invaded and UKIP could be in government by the time you make a decision and it
actually gets on the screen. And did you ask that question when you were doing
your latest reboot/literary adaptation? Or did you just ask whether the
material was out of copyright? Wow, do they actually give you a book of stupid,
pointless questions to ask? <br />
<u><br /></u><br />
<u>What You Should Say</u><br />
I think we can draw a lot of
parallels between the 16<sup>th</sup> century and Austerity Britain. And stories
about the human spirit are ultimately timeless.<br />
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><br /></b><br />
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">4. We really like what you’ve got here, but have you considered…</b><br />
<u><br /></u><br />
<u>What You Shouldn’t Say</u><br />
Of course I’ve considered it. I’ve
been through every permutation of this story to get to this point. I didn’t
just bash it out in an afternoon, you know? I’ve lived with this idea, working it
through my mind, drawing on everything I know and have experienced. I’ve lived
with these characters until I feel like I know every detail of their lives;
things that won’t make it to the screen but will inform everything they do and
say. I did all that before I could even consider showing this to you.<br />
<u><br /></u><br />
<u>What You Should Say</u><br />
That’s a really interesting idea.<br />
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><br /></b><br />
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">5. Whose story is it?</b><br />
<u><br /></u><br />
<u>What You Shouldn’t Say</u><br />
It’s MINE! You can’t have it. You’re not
worthy!<br />
<u><br /></u><br />
<u>What You Should Say</u><br />
Ultimately, it’s about a flawed
and complicated protagonist. S/he’s an everyman/woman that the audience will
fall in love with.<br />
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><br /></b><br />
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">6. I’ll know what I want when I see it.</b><br />
<u><br /></u><br />
<u>What You Shouldn’t Say</u><br />
Well, any chance you could give
us a clue what that might be? Start by telling us what you don’t want to see and we’ll go from
there. And don’t give me that shit about your likes and dislikes being
irrelevant and it being about ‘good writing’ when we all know it’s about who
bought you a drink down at the Groucho Club last week. When I’m made to throw
shit at the wall, I’d like to know there is an outside chance that some of it
might stick.<br />
<u><br /></u><br />
<u>What You Should Say</u><br />
Wow, it’s great to have such a
blank canvas. It’s like there are no wrong answers.<br />
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><br /></b><br />
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">7. I gave your script to a friend/my kids/the girl who does my nails to
get a second opinion.</b><br />
<u><br /></u><br />
<u>What Not To Say</u><br />
Why? Are you incapable of doing
your job? Actually, I asked my postman what he thought of you and he called you
an unprofessional dick. The woman in the chip shop agreed. I like to get a second opinion too.<br />
<u><br /></u><br />
<u>What To Say</u><br />
It’s always good to see things
through a fresh pair of eyes.<br />
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><br /></i><br />
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">But the ultimate annoying question and one that we’d all been asked….</i><br />
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><br /></b><br />
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">8. But, if the main character does this will the audience like her/him?</b><br />
<u><br /></u><br />
<u>What Not To Say</u><br />
Perhaps not. Perhaps they’ll have
a strong emotional reaction to the character instead of simply liking them. I
like lots of people but I don’t want to give up an hour of my precious TV
viewing time to watch them. Did you like Tony Soprano? Walter White? Nurse Jackie? Hamlet? I
think you’re confusing liking a character with having sympathy for them,
identifying with them, rooting for them, being outraged by them. The job of the
screenwriter is to get us to feel something, not just to ‘like’ it.</div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<u><br /></u><br />
<u>What To Say</u><br />
I was thinking we could cast
Martin Freeman/Suranne Jones.<br />
<br />
<br />
So, there you have it; all
genuine things that are said repeatedly in development meetings. If you have
ever said any of those things to a writer; shame on you. But it’s not too late to
change your ways.<br />
<br />
<br />
As ever comments are encouraged
and welcomed.</div>
Lisa Holdsworthhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03698897564460943227noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3926835221308398866.post-76089959857671368582014-04-07T06:47:00.004+01:002014-04-07T06:49:10.508+01:00The Writers' Blog Tour<br />
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
Dearest Reader,</div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
</div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
As you know I am somewhat erratic when it comes to blogging.
I usually wait until I’m livid to write something career-threatening and
possibly libellous. </div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
And so, I’d like to thank Robin Bell (www.robinbellwriter.blogspot.com)
for pressganging me into writing something slightly calmer. Basically this
seems to be the blog equivalent of a chain letter. I answer the following four
questions about my current writing and then get some other sucker to do it. Haven’t
chosen the suckers yet, but watch this space.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
1. What am I working on?</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
Currently I’m writing a new episode of Midsomer Murders, but
that question never quite covers the reality of being a working TV writer. At
any one time I have five to ten other projects in various states of completion
from a full script to having a snappy title. Most of those projects I can’t
talk about and most of them will never get past the various drama commissioners’
desk. By which point all the life and fun will have been sucked from them.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
2. How does my work differ from others of its genre?</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
First off, I didn’t word that question. What genre? I write
across several genres. I also think that people often confuse genre for form. I
assume what is being asked is what sets my writing apart from others. I don’t think
that’s for me to say. I hope my writing is warm, sparky and compelling. But
then I should imagine everyone hopes that about their work. It’s often said
that writers should develop their ‘voice’; I can’t remember when I wrote in
anything other than my voice. Although that’s not to say that it is never
influenced by the vast amount of TV I watch. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
3. Why do I write what I do?</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
I suppose I should write something noble about being driven
to write by a deep inner need to express humanity in all its glory and
depravity. Honest answer? Sometimes it’s that. Sometimes there’s a story or
character that’s just itching to get on the page. Sometimes I impress myself
with a new idea so much that I need to get my ego stroked by getting other people
to tell me it’s brilliant. And sometimes I write for the money like a cheap
whore.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
4. How does my writing process work?</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
Mainly, it doesn’t. It’s a soul-sucking, self-defeating
routine of procrastination, distraction, self-delusion and twatting about on
Twitter. However, after a few days of that and with the deadline looming, I
kick into tunnel-vision mode where the only thing that matters if getting the
fucking thing on the page. I write it like I’m possessed by it and I hate it.
It’s a slog of early mornings, late nights, crap food and poor personal
hygiene. And then the writing narcotic kicks in. I can never predict when but it’s
never a moment too soon and so far it’s never too late. It’s that high you get
when it’s finally flowing. When my fingers can’t fly across the keyboard fast
enough to get the dialogue down. The characters are speaking and the stories
are forming. It’s the closest I get to believing in the supernatural. And then
I take a shower, clean the kitchen, phone my parents to tell them that I’m
still alive and the next day it starts all over again.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
And there you have it!</div>
Lisa Holdsworthhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03698897564460943227noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3926835221308398866.post-90719943464638226122014-02-05T16:56:00.000+00:002014-02-06T11:59:38.709+00:00R.E.S.P.E.C.T.<br />
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
As regular visitors to this blog will know, I am not a
stranger to fits of rage, fury and general kick-the-cat anger. I try to channel
them into humour and not kicking cats. Before anyone calls the RSPCA; I don’t own
a cat. And thank God for that, because something happened last week that would
have had me firmly planting my boot up Chairman Meow’s fundament.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
The Guardian newspaper has decided to take a break from the
quinoa recipes and stories about Twitter to run their own film awards. You
know, because what the UK film industry really needed was another evening spent
in a London hotel function room eating cold food, slapping each other’s backs
and listening to video speeches from actors who couldn’t be arsed to get on the
plane from LA. Yeah, that’s just what a <a href="http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-25977033" target="_blank"><span style="color: red;">national film industry that is in decline</span></a> requires. </div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
But that’s not what put me in the bad mood.<span style="color: red;"> </span><a href="http://www.theguardian.com/guardian-film-awards/categories-film-awards-2014" target="_blank"><span style="color: red;">Have a look at the categories</span></a><span style="color: red;">.</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
So, there’s the usual suspects; best director, best
performance, best film etc. Hang on a minute, this looks like fun. There’s a category
for ‘Best Scene’ and ‘Best Line of Dialogue’ instead of ‘Best Screenplay’. Okay,
I think it’s difficult to ask people to judge those things out of context.
Still, at least it’s recognition of the writer’s craft and how we use dialogue and
scenes to build a story and characters… </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
Except it’s not, because those trendy wankers at The
Guardian haven’t actually bothered to involve the writers in those categories.
Indeed, in the Best Dialogue category, they’ve listed the actors that learned
those lines, but not the writers that actually wrote them.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
This is what incites my genuine and deep felt rage. This utter
inability to understand how films are actually made coupled with such a spectacular
lack of basic respect for my profession. The idea that months, often years, of
work by a writer can be boiled down to a line of dialogue or a scene that
looked good on the trailer is bad enough. However, not even bothering to credit
the men and women who stared at a blank page or computer screen and then conjured those
lines and those scenes from thin air, is unforgivable.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
Because that is what screenwriters do, They create the
characters you love; the dialogue that made you laugh; the scenes that broke
your heart, FROM NOTHING. Before a DOP touches a camera, before a costume
designer touches a sewing machine, before a producer touches a phone and before
a director touches some poor unfortunate starlet on the casting couch. Before
all that there is a writer and the blank page. </div>
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</div>
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</div>
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And that is certainly before anyone designs the fucking poster
or edits a few clips over an Ed Sheeran track, but the Guardian hacks still
think that the ‘Best Marketing Campaign’ is more worthy of an award than the writers.
</div>
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</div>
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</div>
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</div>
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I’m assuming that the bright spark that came up with these
award categories was one of the imbeciles who couldn’t understand why the
silent film The Artist received an Oscar nomination for Best Screenplay. The
sort of imbecile who will never understand the tyranny of the blank page and the
sheer hard work that goes into creating a credible script with a narrative
structure and complex characters. To isolate just one line of dialogue or a
scene shows an ignorance of film, not a love for it.</div>
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</div>
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The very least that the Guardian could have done was credit
the writers of the films from which they arbitrarily lifted scenes and dialogue,
but they could not even be bothered to do that. So, I’ll do it for them.</div>
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</div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt 144pt; text-align: center; text-indent: -144pt;">
<br /></div>
Alan Partridge:Alpha Papa<br />Peter Baynham, Steve Coogan, Neil Gibbons, Rob Gibbons & Armando Iannucci<br /><br />Gravity<br />Alfonso & Jonas Cuaron<br /><br />The Great Beauty<br />Paolo Sorrentino & Umberto Contarello <br /><br />12 Years A Slave<br />John Ridley (based on the book by Solomon Northup)<br /><br />Blue Jasmine<br />Woody Allen<br /><br />Inside Llewyn Davis<br />Joel & Ethan Coen<br /><br />Before Midnight<br />Richard Linklater, Julie Delpy, Ethan Hawke & Kim Krizan<br /><br />Post Tenebras Lux<br />Carlos Reygadas<br /><br />Blue is The Warmest Colour<br />Abdellatif Kechiche, Ghalia Lacroix (Based on the book by Julie Maroh)<br /><br />The Wolf of Wall Street <br />Terence Winter (based on the book by Jordan Belfort)<br /><br />Behind the Candelabra<br />Richard LaGravenese (based on the book by Scott Thorson & Alex Thorleifson)<br /><br />American Hustle<br />Eric Warren Singer & David O. Russell<br /><br />Nebraska<br />Bob Nelson<br /><br />Philomena<br />Steve Coogan & Jeff Pope (based on the book "The Lost Child of Philomena Lee" by Martin Sixsmith)<br /><br />Robot and Frank<br />Christopher D. Ford<br /><br />Her<br />Spike Jonze<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
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</div>
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</div>
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That took me about 10 minutes to look up on IMDB. It shouldn’t
really have been a stretch for a paper that apparently prides itself on the
quality of its journalism. But then the journalists probably just, you know,
throw a few ideas together. It will be their editor that whips it into shape.
It’s actually all about the typeface and the pictures that he chooses, the
words aren’t that important. Are they?</div>
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</div>
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</div>
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See what I did there?</div>
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</div>
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</div>
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</div>
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It seems to The Guardian that we writers are not even worth
ten minutes of their time. However, it is worth saying that other publications
are equally dismissive. <br />
<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
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I’m looking at you Empire; allegedly the World’s
Biggest Film Magazine. Let’s not even talk about how your photo shoots of
actors usually have them in sharp suits whilst the actresses always seem to
have forgotten to put on their trousers. Perhaps you could take a break from
turning into Loaded and actually list the writers on your film reviews? Perhaps
interview them once in a while? Because without writers there is no film for
you to actually write about and no reason for Jennifer Lawrence to be naked and
covered in blue paint.</div>
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</div>
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</div>
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It’s not about money or credits or claiming ownership of
films. It’s about respect.</div>
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</div>
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No cats were harmed during the writing of this blog. </div>
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Lisa Holdsworthhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03698897564460943227noreply@blogger.com25tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3926835221308398866.post-13126203137316616092013-12-18T22:33:00.003+00:002013-12-18T22:38:21.212+00:00Santa Baby<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Dear Father Christmas.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">This year I’ve been a good little writer. I promise. I’ve
hit all my deadlines (eventually), I’ve only sworn at producers and script
editors AFTER I’ve put the phone down, I paid my BBC licence fee and my Writers’
Guild subs. I watched ALL of Dancing on the Edge (and didn’t ask for a damn rebate
on said licence fee or the six wasted hours of my life back).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ve tweeted responsibly and I’ve supported
British films at the box office. I even went to the theatre a couple of times,
goddammit.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">So, I think I deserve to get everything on my Christmas
List. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Here goes…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Could you bring me a nice shiny coin? It’s not for me. It’s for
the commissioners at a certain UK channel. It seems to me that the only way to
get a decision out of them is to call heads or tails. The thing is, there is
nothing more guaranteed to strip the passion (that they claim to want) out of a
project than to have the powers that be umm and ahh over it for months on end. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think someone should tell them that around
the 7<sup><span style="font-size: x-small;">th</span></sup> draft of a treatment, you start to hope that your show/episode
won’t actually get commissioned because you couldn’t stand to write the fucking
thing. At draft 9 you lose the will to live. At draft 10 someone should call
Amnesty International.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I’d like some sparkly new dramas that don’t rely on women
being murdered, raped and menaced for plot and story. That means no more dead prostitutes
(there must be a skip full of them at the back of Broadcasting House), no more
terrified women who don’t call the police because that would fuck up the story
and no more charismatic misogynists. It’s been done to the point of utter cliché.
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I’d also like some new female characters to play with.
Sparky, complicated, flawed, intelligent, powerful LEAD female characters (no <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Barbie dolls). You might have to buy those
from America or maybe Denmark, they seem to have loads. And could you put some
of them on the telly on Saturday night? I’m a bit bored of the companions and
damsels in distress that we already have.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Actually, scratch those last two items. I think I know what
I really want; more women writing telly. Not just the soaps and stuff about
pensioners falling in love. I want women writing stuff that has swords and
time-travel and police officers and dinosaurs in it. I can’t be the only good
little girl who wants to write a car chase for Christmas. I want to play with
the boy’s toys but they don’t seem to know how to share.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Oh, by the way, can you not bring me any more bullshit books
telling me how I should write? You know the ones written by people who have
never written a damn script in their lives? I’ve got loads and I’ve never got
past the third chapter in most of them. I’ve been too busy actually writing. I'd rather get socks. Or herpes.</span></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Finally, this Christmas, I’d like some friends to play with.
I’d like producers and script editors to stop keeping writers apart like we’d
create a rift in the time/space continuum if we actually end up in the same
room together. The thing is that when you put writers together we are combustible;
brilliantly so. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Seriously Santa, this year I want to explode with creativity
and ideas but it’s really hard to do alone. So, can you ask the nice people on
all the shows and all the channels to get us around a table, try a story
conference or even throw us a party? Can you also give nice presents to the
nice telly people who did just that? But you should only put lumps of coal in the
stockings of those producers who treat writers like mushrooms by keeping us in the
dark and up to our necks in shit. Remember a writer is for life, not just for
Christmas.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">And I think that’s it. It’s all a girl could want and hope
to find under the tree this year. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Although, without wishing to be ungrateful, there are still
outstanding items from last year’s list. I am assuming that you’ll be
delivering them this year, yes? Just to remind you, I’m still waiting for my
working Iron Man suit and a snog off of the real Thor. If you don’t deliver
this year, I’ll have to stop believing in you and send next year’s list to
Amazon.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Yours With Jingle Bells<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Lisa <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Aged 39 and five quarters.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span> </div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">PS: A very, very Merry Christmas and a happy, creative, successful 2014 to all the other boys and girls out there in Writer-land. </span></div>
Lisa Holdsworthhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03698897564460943227noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3926835221308398866.post-75285399365544883802013-09-02T12:47:00.001+01:002013-09-02T12:48:36.006+01:00FInd The Lady<br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"></span><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;">There’s a new game sweeping the internet. Have you played it yet?
It’s not Candy Crush or Scrabble. It’s called ‘Count The Women in the BBC Drama
Trailer’. Want to play? Here you go…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;">
<o:p> </o:p><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/ThHEcmDBXpg?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
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<o:p> </o:p></div>
<br />
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Now, I’ve had estimates on Twitter ranging from 3 to 20.
There are bonus points to be earned. How many lines of moody dialogue were delivered
in a female voice? I’ll give you a clue; it’s a number between zero and fuck
all. How many of the shows featured have a female lead? How many of the male
actors featured could you name? How many of the women? For the record, the
programmes showcased in the trailer are Sherlock, Ripper Street, The Great
Train Robbery, What Remains, The Musketeers, The Escape Artist and By Any
Means. How many of those shows do you think have female protagonists? <o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<em>Sidebar: I think the trailer is also distinctly lacking in
racial diversity and I didn’t see any disabled characters either. But as I’m
white and relatively able-bodied, I’ll talk about the lack of vaginas, not melanin
and wheelchairs. Feel free to comment on any of those other issues, though.</em></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
Now, someone on Twitter pointed out that this is just a
trailer. It’s an advert and is designed to sell. He rationalised that men sell
action and drama. That they are men that other men want to be. Well, I don’t
want to be a man. So what I supposed to aspire to? To be shagged by them? Or,
if you look at British drama’s recent record, to be shagged by them and then
killed in well-shot, soft focus ritual killing? <o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
How long are we going to carry on reinforcing the idea that
women are passive and men active? Apart from anything else, it’s dated
bullshit. Women are in the police, fire service, the armed forces, politics and the
frontline NHS. They are also criminals and prisoners (not just their wives).
They win gold medals for us in the Olympics and Paralympics. I really thought
this might be the year that was reflected on my TV screen. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
Let’s take a look at one specific BBC TV slot in particular.
The Saturday teatime drama slot. Where you’ll find/would have found Doctor Who, Merlin, Robin
Hood and very soon Atlantis. That’s the coveted slot when families are supposed
to sit down together to watch something exciting and inclusive. Something that
will have kids running around wielding imaginary sonic screwdrivers or good old-fashioned
swords pretending to be their favourite characters. But who are the little
girls supposed to pretend to be? A Timelord’s companion? A chambermaid who
marries into the Camelot Royal family? Where are the female role models? It won’t
come as a huge shock to hear that the protagonist of Atlantis is called Jason,
not Jessica.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
Look, I’m not saying that women are invisible on telly.
Thank the Goddess for Vera, The White Queen and Scott & Bailey. But it’s
not an improving picture and this trailer made my heart sink. But I’m all about
solutions, not problems. What can we do about this?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
Easy-peasy. Employ more female writers and directors,
because it’s not just actresses that are conspicuous by their absence from that
trailer. None of the lead writers of those eight shows are women. Not one. That's just not good enough.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
I was heartened to hear that Doctor Who is actively looking for
female directors to work on the next series. But what about the writers? <o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
At this year’s BBC TV Writers’ Festival, Steven Moffat was
asked why the show hadn’t featured a female writer since 2008. His answer was
(in my opinion) defensive and unsatisfactory. He claimed that female writers
had been offered episodes and had turned them down. I have no reason to disbelieve
him, but I do wonder exactly how many female writers have been approached. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
He also claimed that not enough women write genre and was
backed up by his interviewer Toby Whithouse in reference to his show Being
Human. I assume they meant that not enough women are writing sci-fi, horror and
fantasy. My follow-up question would be; if not enough women are writing genre
TV, what are you doing to change it? How about looking beyond sci-fi and fantasy?
How about just looking for really good writers? Because a working knowledge of the
Tardis is useful for a Doctor Who writer; but isn’t a working knowledge of
structure, great dialogue and character actually more important? In my opinion,
Mr Moffat is robbing himself of some great writers by being so utterly limited
in his search.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br />
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
As I said in a previous blog, I don’t believe in positive
discrimination on writing teams. I do, however, believe in the positive impact
that a diverse writing team can have on a TV series. I think a diversity of experience
can only be a good thing when developing original, surprising stories and
characters. In fact, I believe it’s increasingly essential. I also believe it won’t happen
without some actual action on the part of producers, showrunners and commissioners. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
I’m throwing down the gauntlet to those people. The next time you're putting together your publicity package for the new season's drama, can we have a better ratio of women on screen. And can they not be murder victims or the protagonist's wife? Can we actually hear a woman's voice on the trailer? I don't think it's much to ask. You may disagree, feel free to comment.</div>
</span><br />
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</div>
<br />Lisa Holdsworthhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03698897564460943227noreply@blogger.com23tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3926835221308398866.post-52326688509233600602013-04-16T11:33:00.003+01:002013-04-16T11:33:53.401+01:00The Wrong (United) State Of Mind.
<br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I had so much planned this weekend. I was going to do all
sorts around the house in preparation for an intense period of writing that
inevitably will result in the whole place being a festering shit tip. However,
what I actually managed to achieve was a couple of loads of washing and a trip
to the Co-op with my coat on over my pyjamas. And that was because I made a
fatal mistake. On Friday night, I watched the first episode of Sons of Anarchy;
the US TV drama about a Californian Motorcycle Club. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">The show is a pretty heady mix of motorbikes, snarling powerhouse
performances, sex, drugs and violence. And once I’d watched one, I needed to
watch more. Unfortunately, thanks to the wonders of a Lovefilm subscription and
my Wii, I had the wherewithal to do just that. By Sunday evening, I was gasping
and sobbing my way through the Season 2 finale. And I could have gone on to
Season 3, but Monday morning and a trip to London prevented me. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">By the way, I bought the Wii so I could get fit without
leaving the house. Yeah, that happened.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Still, as I watched episode after episode, one question hung
in the air. It’s something I believe every TV writer asks him/herself when
watching something they really love that comes from across the pond.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Why aren’t we making shows like this in the UK?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Because we’re not. Don’t get me wrong, we make good TV in
Great Britain. But seriously, are we making anything that inspires the loyalty,
love and devotion that shows like Dexter, Friday Night Lights, True Blood, ER, Glee,
Nashville, Southland, The Good Wife, Game of Thrones, The Walking Dead, Mad
Men, Buffy, The West Wing etc. do? <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m
quite sure you could add to that list but those are just my personal favourites.
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They are the shows that get my series
links and my hard earned box set money.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">The US versus UK Television is a favourite topic of conversation
wherever writers gather. As we huddle together over black coffee and simmering
resentment, we wax lyrical about our favourite episodes and bemoan the lack of
something similar on our home grown channels. The thing is we never quite get
to the bottom of why UK TV does not compete. Is it just a question of money? Or
is there something more fundamental at play? I don’t pretend to know the answers,
but I feel the need to outline some theories and air some frustrations. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">They’re not set in stone, I don’t have the answers and I welcome
anyone who disagrees or has their own theories. So…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">The Financial Theory. It’s the go-to excuse when producers
and commissioners are quizzed about the gap between US and UK product. And it’s
a fair cop. The Yanks are seemingly drowning in money. It’s worth noting that
many of the shows on my list originated from pay-to-view channels like AMC, HBO
and Showtime. They have subscribers who pay to get the best telly and the
channels put that money up on the screen. In recent years, all this filthy
lucre has lured big names into TV production. Steven Spielberg, Frank Darabont,
Ridley Scott and his late brother Tony have all produced big budget beauties.
It seems a shame that Ridley is producing telly in the States and not his native
South Shields.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>However, it’s worth
noting that both Richard Curtis and the much-missed Anthony Minghella came back
to the BBC after Hollywood success.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">As for actors, the road between TV and Film is no longer a
one way street. There’s no shame in going from box office to the box anymore. I
should imagine that decent pay scales have something to do with that. And you
can’t help but notice that much of the on-screen talent in those bid US series
is British. Stephen Moyer, Hugh Laurie, Dominic West, Damien Lewis, Kevin
McKidd have all dusted off their American accents and taken lead roles. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Of course, that’s not just about money but also the
availability and quality of parts. Especially for black actors like David
Harewood, Idris Elba, David Oyelowo and Marianne Jean-Baptiste who had to go
Stateside to get lead roles outside of the Holby NHS or Albert Square. For
God’s sake, the last thing that the impressive Colin Salmon did on British TV
was Strictly Come Dancing! Something wrong here surely? And heaven help us if
our female actors cotton on what is available over the pond, because there’s
precious little for them to get their teeth into over here unless they like
wearing bonnets.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">So, we have the talent. It’s just all on the red-eye into
LAX.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Meanwhile, here in the UK, there is no doubt that money is
often too tight to mention. Smaller budgets and tighter schedules mean that
corners are cut and goodwill is often abused to breaking point.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For a little while there, BSkyB was the big
white hope with writers assuring each other that the commissioners at Sky 1,
Living and Arts were chucking money about like it was going out of fashion. However,
when they paid a few billion to secure the Premiership, F1 Racing and the
cricket, it became clear where their priorities lay. They’re still showing top
notch TV but they’re buying it in from HBO and banging it on their own Pay To
View premium channel; Sky Atlantic.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">And even when they were financing projects, can we really
say that they have produced anything truly unmissable? I’ve enjoyed Strike Back,
Stella and Mad Dogs but they haven’t inspired the same loyalty in me that just
one episode of Battlestar Galactica or The Wire did.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">However, I would also argue that constrained budgets have
also produced some of the best British TV. It seems to bring out the gung-ho
inventiveness in our best writers and producers. Let’s think about Misfits,
Being Human, Skins and the recent In The Flesh. All mind-blowingly
well-written, cult TV shows made on a shoestring. They looked great, unearthed
new talent and inspired loyalty in their audience. Maybe UK writers and
producers work better under the financial cosh? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Still, could they have maintained that quality over 13
episodes per series? That’s the other big, enviable difference between us and
the States. And I mean enviable. How wonderful would it be to develop
characters and slow burning, far reaching, arcing stories over that number of
episodes? The very thought of it makes me salivate. And it works. US TV has
produced some of the most interesting, multi-layered characters in that
luxurious longer series format. Would we have a UK version of Don Draper,
Stringer Bell or Nurse Jackie if we allowed our series to run on just a little?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Of course, the reason our American cousins can keep a series
going for that length of time is because they use the far more sustainable Writers’
Room system.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Series stories are
discussed, developed and planned by a committee of writers in an actual room
whilst individual writers go away and write scripts for the episodes. The shows
tap into both collective inspiration and individual flare.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Of course, it’s not true to say that we have completely
eschewed this system in the UK. That’s pretty much what happens on most of the
soaps in one form or another.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">However, the majority of big ticket shows in the UK rely
initially on one writer beavering away and coming up with both stories and
scripts with sporadic input from producers and script editors. Other writers
are called upon but they tend to work in isolation too. Indeed, I would suggest
that the powers-that-be are seemingly terrified of putting us writers in a room
together; it happens so very rarely. And yes, I’ve heard all the arguments from
the big wigs about the cost of the system and the claims that it wouldn’t work
in this country. And you know what I say? Bollocks. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">There is something magical that happens when writers work
together. Obviously once we’ve all drunk our own weight in coffee and bitched
about the last episode of Doctor Who. Still, once that is out of the way, there
is something about being in that unique atmosphere that emboldens and inspires.
Ideas are prefaced with phrases like “This is probably a bit mad…” or “We
definitely shouldn’t do this, but what if…”. And you know what? The ideas are a
bit mad and we shouldn’t do them, but the collective whirring of brains finds a
way to make it work. Those multiple “What if” moments don’t happen when you’re
alone and desperate to fill your page. And maybe that’s why British TV so very
rarely surprises me these days. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Maybe it’s time for the death of the author?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">By the way, in my opinion, <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>the Writers’ Room system provides a clear
career structure for writers instead of keeping them on tenterhooks as they go
from job to job. It gives them the actual power. Like I said, maybe someone is
scared of putting us in a room together. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">However, there are also some (also in my opinion)
insurmountable cultural and national differences between UK and US TV drama.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">First of all, if I remember my geography correctly; America
is quite big. So big that it is possible for big things to happen to small
communities without it turning into national news. Sunnydale can have a 7 year
vampire problem and then disappear into the ground without CNN sending in a
news crew. The small town of Charming can be run by biker gangs and bent
coppers without the Whitehouse sending in the National Guard. There is
dangerous wilderness and huge tracks of land to get lost in for a lifetime. In
the UK you’d struggle to be lost for a couple of days. It’s actually hard to
make stories feel big and impactful in a UK setting.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">In fact, here’s an exercise. Imagine a show about a
comprehensive school’s soccer team. For five seasons you follow the ups and
downs of the team members and their families. At the heart of the show is the
PE Teacher, a man who inspires loyalty, love and honour in the boys at every
team practise. Every match against other school teams feels like a fight for a
better life, for something intangibly British and human.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Each episode leaves you heart broken and
uplifted at the same time.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Yeah, doesn’t work. Does it? But it did on US TV in the
critically acclaimed American Football drama Friday Night Lights.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Why can’t we transplant that brilliant show
from Texas to Taunton? Is it that British love of self-deprecation that kicks
it into touch every time? Do we have too much perspective? We know that a high
school football game actually means very little in the scheme of things and we
can’t pretend otherwise.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Look at how we write teenagers and young adults. American TV
is awash with erudite, emotionally intense teen dramas; Glee, Vampire Diaries,
Gossip Girl, Revenge etc. the Americans write young people as they see
themselves; the centre of the entire <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>fucking universe. There is no sense of adult
perspective. Of course when they fall in love, it will be forever. Of course
winning a high school choir competition is the single most important thing that
will ever happen to you. Of course, you can solve racism, sexism and homophobia
with a heartfelt speech at the Prom. Meanwhile, in the UK, we write teenagers
with a sneer, safe in the knowledge that the annoying little sods will get over
it by listening to a One Direction CD in their bedrooms. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">There is also something else that we can’t ignore; gun
culture. I recently saw an interesting exchange on the IMDB page for Midsomer
Murders. An overseas fan of the show was perplexed as to why the Midsomer
constabulary are not armed. She pointed out the Inspector Barnaby and his DS
were often sent into high risk situations; surely a firearm was in order? Now,
I have written a few police dramas in my time and I have never felt the need to
have any of my characters pull anything out of their pockets more dangerous
than a police-issue notebook and pen. Still, it can’t be denied that US crime
dramas are often solved with a shootout or a stand-off. There is no better way
to raise the stakes than to write a deadly weapon into a scene.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">And yet, that is one of things I definitely don’t want to
change about British Telly. I don’t want The Doctor armed with anything beyond his
Sonic Screwdriver. I think guns are often an easy out for a writer. The minute
a suspect pulls a gun, the case if solved. S/he is the baddie and they are to
be brought to justice, possibly with terminal force. I’d rather write deadly
dialogue, even if that does mean I work a bit harder.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">However, I would like us to adopt the American’s less po-faced
attitude to criminality. For all the crime drama that this country produces, it
is very rare that we make the most interesting characters the lead; the criminals.
We’ve got every style of detective; old, young, clever, former Timelord,
tropical, opera-loving, violin-playing former coke addicts. We work so bloody
hard to make them, interesting; perhaps we could save ourselves a lot of work
by looking at the really fascinating characters, the criminals themselves. But
that still seems forbidden on UK TV. Sure we’ve had loveable rogues and the odd
plastic East End gangster, but no long-running crime syndicates or off-the-grid
outlaws. No Sopranos, Stringers or Sons of Anarchy. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">And do you know how we could solve that? By banning script
editors and producers from asking a question that now makes my blood run cold –
But will we LIKE this character? Seriously, the next time I am asked that
question, I am going to refuse to answer; because the job of the screenwriter
is not to create a perfect little world where everybody is redeemable and
lovely. It is insulting to both the writer and the audience to assume that they
need to see character smile at a baby or cuddle a kitten before they can engage
with him or her. Drama is a safe space to explore the darker side of life. By
making the fictional world anodyne and safe, we are doing a disservice to the
real world.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">So, that’s my analysis. It’s simplistic and born of
frustration not just at what I watch, but also at what I write. However, I do
wonder how many British writers have projects and ideas that they have never
dared to show because they sound a bit too ambitious? How many of us limit our
imagination and creativity because it’s all just a bit too… Big? How many of us
have started a pitch with the words “I know it sounds a bit American but…” like
that is something for which we should apologise? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">As ever thoughts, comments and full-blown take downs of this
blog are encouraged.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Lisa Holdsworthhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03698897564460943227noreply@blogger.com33tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3926835221308398866.post-23058198199943159742013-02-06T16:39:00.002+00:002013-02-06T16:58:41.854+00:00That Joke's Not Funny AnymoreThese days it seems that you
can’t open a newspaper without reading about another actress or TV presenter
whining on about sexism in broadcasting. And then there is all that chatter
about ‘rape culture’. And have we decided what the difference is between harmless
banter and misogynist hate speech yet? Apparently not, if you tune into some of
the comedy being broadcast in the UK at the moment.<o:p></o:p><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
Now, let me state for the record,
I’m not a pearl-clutching, horrified letter to the Radio Times type. I like my
comedy challenging, cheeky, shocking and unfettered by Daily Mail notions of
taste and decency, thank you very much. However, the other night I saw
something that had me questioning my sense of humour.<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
I had watched the first two
episode of BBC3’s new comedy Way To Go with minimal engagement. I liked the
central idea; three of life’s losers solve their financial problems by offering
an amateur assisted-suicide service. The three lads were familiar characters;
the eternally exasperated lad, the sex-obsessed gobby lad and the dumb lad. And
they exchanged predictable laddish banter and got into scrapes. Nothing
ground-breaking, but diverting enough.<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
And maybe that was what Bob
Kushell, the American writer had in mind when he wrote episode three. Maybe he
wanted to make an impact. That was the episode where we encountered the porn
actress who told the Exasperated Lad that she had been sexually abused by her
father but the reason she made porn was because she liked “getting shafted on
camera” before offering him sex about thirty seconds after meeting him. Later
she would be called upon to give an old man oral sex and would be casually
referred to as a “dick smoker”.<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
Meanwhile, the Gobby Lad met a
Goth girl at the fried chicken shop where she worked. The very first thing he
said to her was about how he was imagining her giving him oral sex. Later, she
would be referred to as a “skank” as his friends expressed incredulity that he
intended to sleep with her. And sleep with her he did, all the while calling
her a “bitch”, “skank” and a “dirty little whore”. But that was okay because
she liked being insulted during sex.<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
By the way, the first words of
dialogue from Dumb Lad were “Check out her nips”. <o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
At the end of the episode I was
shocked and not in a good way. Not in the “I can’t believe they got away with
that, hurray for the BBC” way. I was shocked that such casual misogyny was
allowed onto the BBC. The treatment of the Goth girl was particularly
horrifying. Let’s imagine that initial encounter in the real world. Imagine
that someone walks into your place of work and the first thing they say to you
is that they are visualizing you performing oral sex on them. That wouldn’t be
funny, that would be sexual harassment. <o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
And the thing is, a lot of women
don’t have to imagine that scenario, it happens every single day. If you don’t
believe me, visit the <a href="http://everydaysexism.com/" target="_blank"><strong>Everyday Sexism</strong></a> site where women
talk about how being sexually propositioned by strangers makes them feel. <o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
Spoiler Alert: They don’t feel
turned on or inclined to sleep with those strangers. They feel threatened and
humiliated. <o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
The men they talk about aren’t
funny; they’re verbally violent and oppressive. And I should imagine that they
use phrases like whore, slut and even dick smoker in everyday conversation.<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
And it’s that sort of language to
which I particularly took offence. It is unacceptable for racist and homophobic
epithets to be used in everyday conversation these days. And when used in a
script they are used to typify a certain character and that is rarely your
happy-go-lucky, hapless hero type. And that’s the way it should be. <o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
So, when will we start extending
the same courtesy to women? When will it stop being funny to call someone a whore,
slut, slag or a bitch? I’ll give you a clue, it already has stopped being
funny. I suggested that Bob Kushell may have been going for impact in the
offending episode. Well, what I’d like writers to consider is the real world
impact of this kind of language. I’d like to think how real women would feel if
they were called bitch, skank or whore. How would you feel if you heard that
language used in the workplace, playground or in the street. Would you laugh? <o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
I don’t want any language
censored or banned; I want us to take responsibility for its use. That language
does filter down and is used by people with a lot less sophistication and
intelligence than I would credit Bob Kushell and his fellow (all male) writers
on Way To Go with. As writers (including myself) are quick to tell anyone who
will listen; without us there is no show. There is a just a blank page. Well,
that cuts two ways. If the project starts with us, then so does the
responsibility. If you are putting that kind of language on the page then you
better damn sure you know what you’re doing and you’re prepared to stand by it.<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
And maybe a big help would be
more women on those writing teams. I’m not suggesting any form of positive
discrimination. I want writing to be a meritocracy. And considering the considerable
critical and ratings successes that female writers have been having recently,
we should most certainly be seeing a better ratio of men to women. <o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
A study done by The Writers’
Guild over a six month period in 2011 discovered that only 32% of scripts
broadcast on BBC1, BBC2, Radio 3 and 4 were written by women. This seems
bizarre to me. After all, who wouldn’t want a Sally Wainwright, Miranda Hart or
Heidi Thomas on their writing team? After all, they were the powerhouses behind
those rating behemoths Last Tango In Halifax, Miranda and Call The Midwife. Who
wouldn’t want multiple and diverse perspectives in their story meetings?
Although, as 50% of the population is female, a woman’s POV isn’t exactly “niche”.<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
To go back to Way To Go, I can’t
help wondering if a woman casting an eye over the early drafts of the offending
script might have piped up and said something about the language and the truth
of the female experience. I know I would have done.<o:p></o:p></div>
Lisa Holdsworthhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03698897564460943227noreply@blogger.com27tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3926835221308398866.post-84513406313626762632013-01-07T18:57:00.001+00:002016-01-04T13:30:44.736+00:0010 New Years Resolutions That Every Writer Should Break (and 5 They Shouldn't)<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
It’s that time of year again. The time for self-flagellation
and not even in the good, 50 Shades way. It’s the time of year when you berate
yourself for not being the non-smoking, teetotal, marathon-running
fully-rounded, successful human being with a BMI in single figures that you
wanted to be twelve months ago. <o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
And writers are the worst offenders when it comes to
self-loathing. We don’t watch the new season of TV drama with joy and hope in
our hearts. We watch it with barely concealed jealousy and bitter hatred like
Gollum with a laptop. Why haven’t we got our own series yet? Why didn’t we
pitch a period drama about a fucking nineteenth century shopkeeper? We should have
known! We should have had that idea. We wants the precious! Commission, that
is.<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
And so as we watch the Hootenanny over the last of the Pringles
and Baileys, we vow that next year will be different. Next year we’ll be
watching clips of our show edited together with an edgy cover version
soundtrack. Yeah, Original British Drama? We’re having double helpings of that.<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<em>Sidebar: Although I still question how ‘original’ the
plethora of adaptations, reboots and period dramas actually are, but maybe that’s
just me.<o:p></o:p></em></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
And so we make the same resolutions as last year. And then
we’ll break them. And on the 31<sup>st</sup> of December 2013 we’ll probably be
listening to boogie woogie piano and feeling shit again. BUT NO! Not on my
watch. This year I’m here to help and tell you not only why you should make
those resolutions but why you SHOULD break them. Here’s the top ten…<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<strong>1. I will no longer procrastinate. I will sit at my desk,
fire up Final Draft and just write.<o:p></o:p></strong></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
Bollocks. Procrastination is to writers, as breathing is to
other more fortunate human beings (the ones that don’t feel compelled to
write). Accept that it is part of your process and that whilst you’re googling cute
cat videos, you are actually working. The reason you haven’t put your fingers
on the keyboard and started to type is because you haven’t anything to type
yet. What’s floating about the back of your brain is still making its journey to
the front. You have to give it a chance. And you know what will put the pedal
to the metal? A deadline. You might still be at your desk at 4am and hating
yourself for pissing away days of crystal clear writing time but the next
broken resolution will help with that…<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<strong>2. I will treat my writing like a job and work 9 ‘til 5.<o:p></o:p></strong></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
Who died and made you Dolly Parton? This is the year when
you will accept that writing is not a 9 to 5. If you wanted one of those then
you’d get a proper job. You have to take the rough with the smooth. Sure there’ll
be days when you’re sobbing into your keyboard during the wee small hours or
bashing away whilst everyone else is watching The X-Factor. But there will also
be days when you’ll be able to walk around Ikea without feeling homicidal because
you could legitimately go on a weekday; instead of Saturday when all the couples
go there for a bag of tealights and relationship endangering argument. Why not?
You worked the weekend; you earned your stress free meatballs. Write when you
can, not when you think you should.<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<strong>3. I’m going to totally focus on finishing my one big
project.<o:p></o:p></strong></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
Well, done, you’ve just committed career suicide. We all
have the dream script that we want to write when the time is right. When there
are no distractions and when we can do the research, write without
interruptions or having to break off. Guess what? That time will never happen.
Actually, the more successful you are, less likely that dream time will ever exist.
The reality of being a jobbing TV writer who can still pay the rent is that you
have to multitask. You have to be writing a final draft, whilst putting together
a treatment and pitching for your next job after that. And the reality is that,
if you’re lucky, one in ten of your projects will get anywhere. If you focus on
just one project you are going to be royally screwed if it goes south. And it
more than likely will.<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
Again, this is the year you will accept that. And maybe the
reason you’re still waiting for that mythical golden time to write your dream
project is because it’s not ready to be written yet. Diversify. Although, at
the risk of contradicting myself…<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<strong>4. I’m going to generate a new idea every day.<o:p></o:p></strong></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
A good idea? Or a box-ticker that you’ll waste your time on.
It’s good to diversify. It means you go into meetings with a couple of aces up
your sleeve if your big idea falls on stony ground. However, if you start rattling
off ill-formed, half-pitches you run the risk of sounding like a desperate Alan
Partridge. Monkey Tennis? Smell my cheese!<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
The number of projects that you have on your slate/in your
back pockets depends on you. I juggle between five and seven at various stages
of development. I keep a note of when and to whom I’ve pitched them to so that
I know when to chase. If a project has had a knockback from all the usual
suspects then I take it out of the rotation, pop it on the back burner and come
back to it later. By that time, I can usually see what was wrong with it and
then I can decide whether to bin it or rework it. Sometimes I realise the
reason it got the knockback is because of that old chestnut – they had something
similar in development. <o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
Which brings me on to…<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<strong>5. This is my make or break year. I’m setting myself a
deadline and if I don’t have a commission in 12 months I’m packing it in and
getting a proper job.<o:p></o:p></strong></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
Did you not see the bit about going to Ikea? Why would you
want to pack in something you love? And if you don’t love writing then you
shouldn’t be bothering in the first place. Setting yourself an arbitrary timescale
is unrealistic and naïve. It also suggests that you think that YOU are the only
obstacle between yourself and your goals. First of all, that’s physically
impossible unless you have like a time machine or some shit. Or a clone! Or
maybe if you were in a parallel universe and there was some like string theory
stuff going on….<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
Anyway, the unaltered reality is that there are many reasons
why you haven’t had that commission yet and not all of them are fair. You can
be a victim to the CONSTANT game of Producer Musical Chairs that seems to be
going at both the BBC and ITV. Guess what? It’s not going to get any better
this year. Premiership football managers have better job security than
development producers and commissioners. And there is always the chance that
they do ‘have something similar in development’. Or they could have run out of
money. Or they could just not like the trainers you wore to the meeting. Shit
happens and sometimes you just have to let it. I mean, you don’t have to be happy
about it. We all love a good pissy moan, but don’t spend all your time feeling sorry
for yourself. Take control of those things that you can – the words on the page.
But if you give up writing, you’ve even lost that.<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<strong>6. I’m going to go to every screenwriting workshop and read
all the screenwriting books and blogs.<o:p></o:p></strong></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
I actually do have a resolution this year; death to all
screenwriting gurus. They are full of shit and the only thing they are
interested in is taking your money. Why would you bother reading McKee’s
tedious blabbing on when you could be writing? Why would you spend two hundred
quid to watch him give a fucking powerpoint presentation that he could probably
do in his sleep? As for the various self-appointed writing experts on the
internet chatting shit about how you should write…<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
Okay, I appreciate that I’m being a tad hypocritical here.
But the thing about my advice is that you can take it or leave it. Use the bits
that help and jettison the stuff that doesn’t. However, if someone is telling you
that they are going to clue you in on the only possible way to write, the only
way to structure or write dialogue, then give them the elbow. And ask yourself
this question; if they are so good at writing, why aren’t they doing it? Why
aren’t they winning Oscars in LA instead of teaching 3-act structure in a
drafty hall in Lambeth? <o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<strong>7. I’m going to enter all the writing competitions.<o:p></o:p></strong></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
This way madness lies. There are some brilliant competitions
run by magnificent and committed people. And if you have a script that meets
their criteria then bang it in. However, if you’re reading the criteria for a
competition and wondering whether two weeks is long enough to produce a 90
minute script, then stop. If you’re trying to write something in a genre or
format that you actually have no real interest in, then stop. If the
competition costs $200 to enter, then stop. <o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
You can waste a lot of time, energy and money on
competitions that you probably won’t and don’t really want to win. <o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
However, if you love anything with a spaceship in it and
there is a Sci-Fi writing competition, then have at it. If you had the perfect
idea for the Red Planet award last year but you didn’t have the time and nerve
to enter, go for it. If it’s free to enter and you can hit the deadline without
the needing to be sectioned, this could be your year. <o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<strong>8. I’m going to be a networking ninja.<o:p></o:p></strong></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
This is a personal plea. Can aspiring writers stop coming up
to me and giving me their business card? We’re writers not Japanese
businessmen. Seriously, unless I write “annoying git with ginger hair” on the
back of that card I’m not going to remember who you are when I fish it out of
the bottom of my handbag two weeks later. This year, I want your networking to
be focussed. Just collecting acquaintances is not useful to your career. It’s
not 2003 anymore; nobody is impressed by how many Facebook friends you’ve got. <o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
However, if there is someone who you think would really like
your script/project idea, then cultivate them. Talk to them on Twitter.
Introduce yourself at writing events. Be polite, brief and patient. DO NOT shove
a script into their hands and demand they read it. Instead, ask politely if
they would be kind enough to give your script a read. If they say yes, send it
promptly by email and then be patient. Do not email two days later asking if
they’ve read it yet. Don’t even do that two weeks later. They’re doing you a favour;
don’t turn into a pain in the arse. <o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
Oh, and buy ‘em a drink. Mine’s a Campari and soda.<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<strong>9. I’m going to give up Facebook, Twitter and all other time-sapping
social networking.<o:p></o:p></strong></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
Shall we just hand out the razor blades now? Writing is a
lonely, isolating occupation on occasion. There can be weeks when the only people
you speak to are imaginary. The best thing that’s happened for writers in the last
few years has been social networking. It gives us solidarity, a connection that
sustains us through the really tough times. On both Twitter and Facebook I’ve
made friends that I’ve never actually met. And yet, I know that on the days it
is all going to shit they will be there to sympathise, cajole and give virtual
hugs. And there is a not a day goes by that someone doesn’t make me laugh, warm
my heart or raise my blood pressure. Writers need that. <o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
Except for LinkedIn. That shit is just pointless and
annoying.<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<strong>10. I’m going to make sure my finger is on the pulse.</strong> <o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
Do you mean you’re going to hop on every bandwagon. Hey,
Zombies are pretty popular at the moment. What about vampires? If you could just
find a new way to write those bloodsuckers… Oh yeah, and didn’t that BBC bloke
say that they were looking for more crime shows? Or was it less crime? Or was
it medical shows? Or perhaps a medical show with crime? And zombie-vampires!<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
STOP! By the time something is trendy, it’s already over.
And that bloke from the BBC? If the commissioners knew what they actually wanted,
they’d commission it. They’d ring up their favourite writers and ask for the
medical crime drama with the zombie vampires possibly set in a nineteenth
century department store. The reality is that they don’t know what they want
until they actually see it. They’re like spoilt toddlers. They want whatever
toy the other kid has got. Until they actually get it and then they want a
completely different toy to play with. You just have to keep throwing toys in the
pram until you find something that keeps the little fuckers quiet.<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
So, this year, why not just write what you’re passionate
about? The genres you love. The characters you want to meet. The stories you
want to tell. And if that story happens to be about Detective Inspector Dracula
MD who has a penchant for eating brains, good luck to you.<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
So, there are ten New Year resolutions that you can break
guilt-free. But here are five you should make and keep.<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt 36pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18pt;">
<span style="mso-list: Ignore;">1.<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span>Get/Stay Healthy – The better you feel, the better you
will write.<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt 36pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18pt;">
<span style="mso-list: Ignore;">2.<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span>Get paid. – Join the Writer’s Guild and learn what you
are actually worth. <o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt 36pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18pt;">
<span style="mso-list: Ignore;">3.<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span>Write more diverse characters – Just let go of your
middle-class, PC guilt and write characters rich in different experiences and
culture.<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt 36pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18pt;">
<span style="mso-list: Ignore;">4.<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span>Take an interest in your industry – Watch more telly,
see more films and plays. Know your shit.<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt 36pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18pt;">
<span style="mso-list: Ignore;">5.<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span>Just write.<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<o:p> </o:p>I wish you a happy, creative and surprising 2013. Can’t wait
to see what we’re all going to get up to.<o:p></o:p></div>
Lisa Holdsworthhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03698897564460943227noreply@blogger.com32tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3926835221308398866.post-71495511040670653862012-09-26T17:42:00.001+01:002012-09-26T17:42:09.370+01:00A Woman's Place Is In The Past.
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
Ah, the season of mists, mellow fruitfulness and TV programmes
with lots of nice hats. The autumn TV schedules in the UK are awash with period
dramas again. Hearts are fluttering upstairs and downstairs at Downton Abbey;
innocent girls are in danger of ruination at The Paradise and war is
picturesque hell at Parade’s End.<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
Now, I like a crinoline skirt and bit of RADA received
pronunciation acting as much as the next person. However, it does seem that television
is living in the past a little too often at the moment. It’s hardly surprising
with the ratings success of Downton and Call The Midwife. It seems that the audience
love a little bit of vintage. The problem I have with all this history is that
it doesn’t leave much room for her-story.<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
The lack of strong female characters on TV and in the movies
is well-trodden ground. Barely a week seems to go by without one of our great
actresses complaining that there are very limited roles for women and
especially older women. And I agree with them. Furthermore, I have to question whether television that harks
back to a time when women were disenfranchised, silenced and given limited life
options is actually going to help the cause.<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
Of course, there are parts for women in period dramas. After
all, someone has to wear the nice frocks and heave their bosoms – but sometimes
it feels like that’s all they do. Period dramas often rely heavily on their own set of female
stereotypes. The wide-eyed innocent girl in danger of being ruined by the
rapacious employer. The bitter spinster always ready with sharp rebuke seemingly
just because her hymen is still intact. The
dowager insisting that things are done properly and making sure that everyone
knows their place as the sun sets on the British Empire. And of course, the plain and simple serving girl popping up to drop a blancmange whenever we need a little light relief. And those characters
are great fun and probably wonderful to write.<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
However, it seems that the drama for those women revolves
around the same old issues and crises. In their fictional world, the worst
thing that can happen to them is that they have sex outside wedlock, marry a
poor man or drop a blancmange. Those things are simply not high stakes in the
modern world (or at least one would hope not). So, the constant harking back to
those simpler times is surely having one of two effects.<o:p></o:p><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
Either, we are condemning female characters to a life of inconsequential
stories that we don’t really care about. We never see them in the trenches or
in a cabinet meeting with Lloyd George or doing the important stuff. They are
too damn busy dropping blancmanges on their heaving bosoms. <o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
Or, if we do accept that to lose one’s virginity when one
doesn’t have a ring on one’s finger is simply the very end; are we reinforcing ideas
about women that should have gone out with the Charleston? If we see
female characters in constant servitude and represented as powerless, that can’t
be a good thing. Can it? <o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
Also, side note, there seems to be a great love amongst the
writers of period drama for killing women in a romantic fashion. There’s the
old trope of blood in the handkerchief meaning imminent death by consumption or
Spanish Flu. Or the troublesome birth that leads to our hero clutching his
sweaty wife’s hand as she uses her last breath to ask whether the baby is okay.
Those women are always so very, very brave and have the stiffest of upper lips.
Not one of them begs for their life or rages against the dying of the light. It’s
almost as if their deaths don’t really matter in the grand scheme of things,
isn’t it?<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
Even in shows where historical accuracy is not exactly paramount
women are being sidelined. There is a new series of Merlin about to start in
BBC1 and I can only pray that the women in that show get to do something other
than be evil super bitches or anxious serving girls. But as Gwen/Guinevere
barely features in the trailer, I’m not going to put money on it. Come on
lads, you’ve taken enough liberties with the Arthurian legend, why not a bit of
equal opportunities around the Round Table? I’ll even write it for you. I’m
just saying, it would be nice to see a kick-ass female role model (other than
Amy Pond and River Song) on a Saturday tea time. Whither Buffy?</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
Sure, it's all about context and it’s interesting to see how
far sexual politics have come but I worry that we are consigning our great
actresses to the kitchen and the corset. For example, it is the great Maggie
Smith that makes the faintly ludicrous Downton Abbey unmissable. She turns a high-handed,
catty remark into utter poetry. But that’s all she bloody does! Imagine if a
writer had the imagination to write a part where she has real power? Maggie
Smith as a Cabinet Minister, a retired spy, a diplomat, a serial killer? I’d
watch that! <o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
However, and I’m going to be tad harsh here for a moment, I
think in that ideal world of women doing actually dramatic things there wouldn’t
be many parts for some of the other actresses. The wide-eyed virgins who are
called on to do nothing but simper and blush? They’d be on the dole (or in Hollyoaks).
Because those performances and roles are archaic and dull. It’s time to consign
them to the past.<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
But, in the interests of fairness, I must give an honourable
mention to two period dramas for letting the sisters do it for themselves.
Firstly. The Hour had some truly brilliant female characters working in a man’s
world. And Parade’s End did something utterly brilliant by exploring the
constraints on women in the early 20<sup>th</sup> century. Those characters
were not happy with their lots in life, they didn’t accept the orthodoxy of
their gender and it drove the drama beautifully. And they still wore nice frocks.
Food for thought, but not blancmange.<o:p></o:p></div>
Lisa Holdsworthhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03698897564460943227noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3926835221308398866.post-65924478652486595072012-08-17T11:36:00.001+01:002012-08-17T11:48:01.444+01:00Not Quite The Best of Men<em>It's usually me losing my temper on this blog, but this week I am handing over the ranting rights to Martin Jameson. Martin is an experienced writer, producer and director who has worked in TV, Theatre and Radio for many years. Recently he has written for Holby City, Casualty and Emmerdale. He too was at the BBC TV Writers' Festival session about the representation of people with disabilities which I blogged about last month. Last night he watched Lucy Gannon's BBC 2 drama 'The Best of Men' and he wondered whether the BBC should be putting their money where their mouth is. I agree.</em><br />
<br />
<em>Lx</em><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Grande"; mso-fareast-language: JA;">A Rant </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Grande"; mso-fareast-language: JA;">by </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Grande"; mso-fareast-language: JA;">Martin Jameson<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Grande"; mso-fareast-language: JA;"><span style="font-size: small;">Don't get me
wrong, I found lots to enjoy in Lucy Gannon's script of The Best of Men - the
little known story of Dr Ludwig Guttman - pioneering spinal injury doctor who
instigated the Stoke Mandeville games, the forerunner of the Paralympics.
Funny, insightful, heart warming... Eddie Marsan was fantastic - and will
surely win, or at least be nominated for a BAFTA and well deserved it will be
too.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Grande"; mso-fareast-language: JA;">But hang on a
bloody minute....! What on earth is the BBC playing at? Both 'disabled' leads
were played by non disabled actors. Ok... so Rob Brydon's there because he's a
'name' and will draw in an audience (not enough of an excuse in my book... work
harder BBC - sell the show on having honest disability casting please). But
then the other lead is played by George Mackay, also able bodied.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Grande"; mso-fareast-language: JA;">So the
justification there would be that there are flashbacks and dream sequences
where the character, William, can walk. Well, in my not so humble opinion, not
only were those sequences dispensable but even if one felt they were absolutely
essential, both would have been achievable with non disabled body doubles.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Grande"; mso-fareast-language: JA;"><span style="font-size: small;">Again, don’t
get me wrong, both Brydon and MacKay gave excellent performances, but… but… frankly
I think it's a disgrace. The paraplegic actor David Proud was sitting around in
MacKay's shadow with barely a line to say. In my professional opinion David
would have been more than capable of playing William. Not as well known, but
there was nothing integral to that that part he couldn't have done as far as I
could see. And he would have been great. Obviously I can’t speak on David’s behalf, and on his blog he says he
was honoured to be involved.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m sure he
was, but this viewer, this writer would have wished for him to have had a much
higher profile.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Surely he should have
been much more than ‘involved’…<br />
<br />
And then...AND THEN.... some of us were at the BBC's TV Writers Festival in
Leeds last month. One of the key sessions was about 'Changing the Face of TV
Drama', about challenging the invisibility of disability and disabled actors on
our dramatic TV screens, and guess who was on stage, leading the panel?</span> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Grande"; mso-fareast-language: JA;">Lucy Gannon
that's who... saying that it was up to us as writers to make sure we wrote good
parts for disabled actors, that they were included naturally within the drama.
No mention of the fact that she'd just written a major BBC drama and actually
she had written it in such a way that it gave the production team a get out to
cast non disabled actors in those key roles. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Grande"; mso-fareast-language: JA;"><span style="font-size: small;">As someone who
has worked hard to include disability in the mainstream drama (i.e. soap) that
I've written over the years, and don't tend to have the kinds of opportunities
to mold change that Lucy has as a writer, I now find this to be hypocritical
and jaw dropping. Ok... it might have been completely beyond her control, but I
would like to know that she at least TRIED to fashion the script to at least
give some disabled actors an all too rare opportunity to take the main stage
here.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Grande"; mso-fareast-language: JA;">By failing to
think this through, the BBC has cast itself in the role of the out-dated Dr
Cowan, the disablist villain of Lucy Gannon’s script, unable to trust disabled
actors with the lead roles in their own story.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Grande"; mso-fareast-language: JA;">Given the
content of the piece, and in the year of the London 2012 Paralympics… it’s a
bit bloody ironic.</span></div>
Lisa Holdsworthhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03698897564460943227noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3926835221308398866.post-44366284501651834142012-08-10T11:53:00.000+01:002012-08-10T11:53:03.931+01:00Update: MannersThis is just a mini-blog following up on my earlier entry bemoaning the lack of manners amongst development producers. After spending the first 7 months of the year doing actual paid work, I am spending the rest of my year on development. It's a great luxury and I'm very lucky.<br />
<br />
This week I started making a plan of action/works (I am ever the optimist). I went through all the pitches and submissions that I'd managed to make amongst writing on New Tricks and Midsomer Murders. And I got angry all over again. <br />
<br />
I couldn't quite believe how many pitches had been initially been enthusiastically received and then utterly forgotten about. Producers who had urged me to write pitches and treatments and to come to meetings (all for free and without any offer of expenses) had simply not bothered to follow-up on my work. Some of them have flat out lied to me; promising that they won't be like all the others and that they value me and my work. So, why do they still treat me like dirt? <br />
<br />
And yes, I am still talking about my writing life, not my love life. That's a whole different blog.<br />
<br />
Now, it might be that the ideas weren't any good or were too similar to others on the slate. And that's absolutely fine. It happens. But to not even bother to drop me an email or make a call to say we're not interested is just damn rude and unprofessional.<br />
<br />
But it's not only that, it is potentially detrimental to mine and other writer's careers. Those ideas are my currency, my product. And if you don't want to buy them, that's okay. However, by sitting on them you are limiting my window of opportunity to take those ideas elsewhere. And the more I thought about this the angrier I got.<br />
<br />
So, here is my plan of action.<br />
<br />
I'm going to follow-up on every single one of those pitches with a polite but to the point email or phone call. I'm going to make it clear that I want a yes/no answer and that I want it within a few days. <br />
<br />
If the answer is no, then I'll take the idea elsewhere. <br />
<br />
If the answer is maybe (because let's a face it, it's never a straight yes), I'm going to ask for a time frame. I want to know where they are taking the idea next and when I can expect to hear something.<br />
<br />
I'm also seriously considering no longer abiding by the unwritten rule that you only pitch an idea to one person at a time. It considered bad form to tout your ideas around to multiple companies. Well, I say fuck that. They're my ideas and I'll show them to whoever I damn well please. If you like the idea then get your finger out and make me an offer. Maybe I won't take my idea 'off the market' until someone is talking to my agent.<br />
<br />
It's time for a change of attitude amongst writers. They are not doing us a favour by listening to our new ideas for characters and stories and worlds. If writers stop bringing those ideas in, then it all grinds to a halt. And if they can't show us a basic level of courtesy then maybe we should stop pitching to them?<br />
<br />
Again, I say all this on the understanding that not every development producer is rude and thoughtless. I have worked with some crackers this year. Producers who talk to you like a human being, keep you in the loop and push for quick decisions. For those wonderful people, I go the extra mile. But I'm no longer even going to put on my shoes for the other rude bastards.<br />
<br />
So, if you're a producer and you're reading this; ask yourself which category you fall into.Lisa Holdsworthhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03698897564460943227noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3926835221308398866.post-75731807906818528582012-07-26T14:30:00.002+01:002012-07-26T14:30:38.846+01:00PC Gone Mad (or Cognitively Impaired Causing Behavioural Challenges)One of the most interesting
sessions at the recent Television Writers’ Festival run by the BBC Writersroom
was called something like ‘Changing the Face of Drama’. It was run at the end
of the first day and no-one was entirely sure what it was going to be about. I’ll
admit that I assumed it was going to be the usual yadda-yadda about big stories
and interesting characters. Because, you know, we’re all trying to write those
inconsequential stories and boring characters. Maybe next year there should be
a session on bears defecating in wooded areas and the Pope’s religious
preferences…<o:p></o:p><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
Anyway, bitchy whining aside…<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
The session was actually about how
under-represented disabled people are in British drama. There were some pretty
cracking statistics. The one that sticks in my mind is the fact that 24% of the
British population has some form of disability. That’s a pretty much a quarter
of the population and I don’t think that anyone would deny that quarter of the population
is under-represented on our screens. And so, I left that session vowing to pop
a wheelchair user into my next script. As I’m sure everyone else who was there
did.<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
However, I’ve given it some thought
since then. And I wonder what the realities of doing that will actually be. And
I genuinely think that before we see disabled characters that are anything other
than a token we need to have a serious conversation with ourselves as writers.
Because whilst we’re not getting it right with disabled characters, we’re also often
making a bugger of representing black, Asian, gay, Transgender and… for fuck’s
sake… female characters.<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
So, am I saying writers all a big
old bunch of racist, sexist, cripple-hating homophobes? No! And that’s kind of the
problem.<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
I can only speak for myself but I’m
the wishy-washiest of liberals. So, when I come to write a character that is
different race or sexuality or physical ability to myself (I’m white, straight
and able-bodied, by the way), I start to panic. <o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
I analyse every line of script
for potential offence and worry about stereotyping. And so the character becomes
blank and bland. Their experience of being black/lesbian/blind isn’t being
incorporated into their attitude and dialogue. So, what’s the point of them
being Asian/transgender/deaf? Am I just creating a character that will piss off
the casting director and make me look like a PC tosspot? But if I do allow my
Chinese/Polyandrous/Crippled character to explore who they really are, I run the
risk of looking ignorant because I really don’t know what it’s like to be an
Inuit/Bisexual/Wheelchair User. I really don’t want to offend any Native
American/Hermaphrodite/Cerebral Palsy sufferers that might be watching the
show. And so, I end up playing it safe and writing from my comfort zone. <o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
I’m not proud of that.<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
A big part of it is language; a
fear of it. And I had a theatre experience a couple of years ago that I think
set me off on a journey that hopefully will improve my scripts. I wrote a short
play called ‘Going to Extremes’ about two old friends who find themselves on
opposite sides at an English Defence League demo in Bradford. Lee is a white
lad from Essex whilst Amir is a Pakistani Muslim from Bradford. They bump into
each other running from the violence and discuss their individual reasons for
coming to the demo/counter-demo. Whilst writing this play, I let myself off the
leash in a way that I never would whilst writing an episode of the TV show. I didn’t
worry about offending the viewing public, compliance issues or watersheds. I
wrote Amir and Lee talking to each other as two lads in their twenties would.<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
But the eye-opener was in
rehearsal. The play was directed by the sickeningly talented Trevor MacFarlane
and starred the equally brilliant Joe Ransom and Sushil Chudasama. Trevor only
had a short rehearsal period and had to get Sush and Joe to a very comfortable
place with each other. Any political correctness went out the window, because there
simply wasn’t time to tiptoe around language and sensitivities. All three boys
started to speak to each other as real people do. They took the piss and there
were no sacred cows. It was all up for grabs – race, religion, gender and
sexuality. It was real.<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
But I question whether that is
achievable on telly. The reality is that we work so damn hard to keep everything
inoffensive for a mass audience that we run the risk of making everything bland
and dishonest. I’m not suggesting that people should be calling each other pakis,
queers and mongs in the Rover’s Return or on the wards of Holby General. I
actually really don’t want to see that. But let’s have some honesty about how
we react to each other in the real world. We are not colour-blind and we are
morbidly curious about people who are different to us – that is humanity. <o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
And so, is that the key? Whilst I’ve
been tying myself up in knots about writing characters with a different
cultural experience to me, I should actually be reflecting my discomfort and
fears. It’s not about writing those characters, it’s about writing the
reactions of the characters around them. That is where the honesty is often
missing. And, let’s not miss a trick here, where some genuinely interesting
drama could be.<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
I’m not pretending this is the
answer. This is just my personal revelation. But at least I am giving it some
thought now instead of brushing it under the carpet. The best thing about my
job is I’m always on the steepest learning curve. <o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
I asked a friend of mine, to
write a guest blog about race and her unique experience of it. But then they
are all unique experiences and maybe it’s our job to get over ourselves and
write the stories. Anyway, she’s asked to remain anonymous. And if anyone else
would like to add to the debate feel free to leave comments or get in touch
with me and I’ll be more than happy to host other guest blogs. Here it is…<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<h2 class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
Race Is a Myth by Anon<o:p></o:p></h2>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">My first memory of race awareness
is this - when I was little I ran into a public toilet in desperation and got
chased out by a large woman with a broom. That was ok, they stank, yet when I
reached the one next door there were flowers and shiny tiles and I was allowed
in. They were both the Ladies’, this was 1970s South Africa and the lady with
the broom was black. And I’m not, so I was in the wrong place. I never got my
six year old head around this. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">My partner isn’t black in South
Africa, but he isn’t white either. He wasn’t black until he came to the UK at
the age of 21. In Mauritius, where he was born, he is Creole. They are black
people, but have mixed over time and are descended from the plantation owners
who still cling to the edges of that beautiful island as much as from the
slaves from Africa that were freed or died there. Here he is Black. Or Paki.
Sometimes French, if they hear the Creole accent (the last one with a confused
face) but never Mauritian, which he proudly is. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">In Mauritius last year having a
big fat family Christmas, I found myself racially confused a couple of times.
There is a kind of caste system where the lighter your skin, the better it
seems within the Creole community. I had to bite my tongue listening to darker
members of the clan being referred to as “Zulu” and girls fretting about the
sun turning them too black. Maybe it’s my post-colonial guilt, but knowing
Kwa-Zulu Natal as I do, I certainly wouldn’t put the Zulus at the bottom of the
status</span> pile. <span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">The only other white was an Australian fiancé who starting
bitching about Aborigines half way through dinner. The tea drinking Creole
ladies tutted sympathetically while I made a tactical dash to the balcony. At
least no-one is hunting me down with a rifle as they threatened to do in South
Africa.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">While not invisible as the only
white in the family, I sometimes forget that I am. This is a national school of
thought in the UK I find. Whites have a given invisibility. How often do they
refer to each other as “that white guy” when there are no black people present?
Really? Non-whites are raced by language – “that black woman”, the “that Asian
bloke” but whites are just “that woman”, “that bloke”. Have you ever noticed
how the category ‘White’ on monitoring forms is always at the top and no-one
has ever thought of putting them in alphabetical order?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Raced language does exclude a lot
of teenagers I must admit. Something in me is thrilled when I hear two white
London girls addressing each other as “Bruv”, but then I don’t like the N-word
so this is for over 25s only I guess.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">I think Race is a myth. As in, we
made it up. This is not to say that we don’t perceive differences in
pigmentation and in hairstyle, we certainly do. But the order of it? The way we
endlessly fuss over the details, surely that is all about satisfying our need
to classify and categorise, to put things into hierarchies and make the
complexities of the world just a little bit easier to understand. Differences
in race do exist but the meanings we imbue them with and the names we give them
are all carefully constructed piece by piece, cemented by individual
experience.<o:p></o:p></span></div>Lisa Holdsworthhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03698897564460943227noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3926835221308398866.post-57567779189631699542012-07-03T16:24:00.003+01:002012-07-03T17:04:29.630+01:0050 Shades of Hey! That's not nice.<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
*WARNING: ADULT CONTENT/BAD <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>LANGUAGE*<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
I’m not usually one for bandwagon
jumping, but everyone else seems to be blogging/tweeting/yapping on about EL
James’ Fifty Shades books. For God’s sake it was the topic of a Radio Leeds mid-morning
phone-in last week. And women in their fifties were talking about it at my diet
class. And, what the hell, it might push a bit of site traffic my way.<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<o:p> </o:p>So, let’s get the obligatory questions
out of the way. <o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Have I read them? <o:p></o:p></b></div>
Yep. All three. In quick succession.<o:p></o:p><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">But, are they as badly written as everyone says they are?<o:p></o:p></b></div>
Fuck, yeah.<o:p></o:p><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Would you go to the Red Room with Christian Grey and the riding crop?<o:p></o:p></b></div>
Fuck, yeah. Times about a
billion.<o:p></o:p><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
So, what is left to say about the
badly written mummy porn? Well, nothing. My problem is with the tone in which
it is all being said. The snarky, high-handed, sneering way in which the three
best-selling books have been discussed. But not just the books; the women that have
read and enjoyed them.<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
Apparently, anybody reading them
for anything other than research for a Guardian column is being suckered. They
have ‘suboptimal reading skills’. They are buying into terrible sexual politics
and want to be dominated by emotionally crippled billionaires – the sappy
fools. The very phrase ‘mummy porn’ smacks of value judgement. I understand
that mummys like sex too – I believe that’s how most of ‘em get up the stick in
the first place.<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
And here’s what I recently
realised. When those snarky twats are describing this simpering, nappy-changing
bint who has to sound out the big words, they’re describing me. I read the first
one out of curiosity. I was on holiday and wanted something unchallenging and
fun. And I got what I asked for. I enjoyed the first one so much that I went
straight out and bought the second. I got the third one in the airport and read
it on the flight home.<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
And yet at no time did I switch
off my critical facilities.<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
I think Anastasia is a silly
bitch and almost completely unreflective of any other women I know. Perhaps EL
James edited out the chapter where she gets the lobotomy. Just because I read
the book, I don’t want to BE Anastasia. I wasn’t fantasising about being a
doormat. Actually, she was being one so that I don’t have to be. Isn’t that the
point of fiction? To take you places you wouldn’t normally go to walk in other
people’s shoes?<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
As for Mr Fifty Shades. Well, had
I been Anastasia there would not have been three books. The minute he pulled
out that ‘I don’t make love, I fuck’ line, I’d have handed him his grey tie and
shown him the door. Don’t get me wrong, I’d have been tempted to set aside my
principles for a whizz-bang with the well-endowed, sexually dextrous, billionaire
but I’m pretty sure I’d have said no. Well, I’m reasonably confident that I
would. You know, depends whether I’d made an effort and put on an uncomfortable
bra for the date. You don’t want that going to waste…<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
Oi! Holdsworth! Isn’t this blog
supposed to be about writing not bonking? <o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
Oh yeah. Point is that I think the
Fifty Shades phenomenon kind of proves the point of my earlier blogs. If something
is seemingly inexplicably popular, as writers we should be trying to explain the
inexplicable. All that energy spent sneering is just sour grapes. Because after
I’d finished inhaling those three books I was left with the overwhelming
feeling that I could have done it better, No! That I should have done it
better. I should have had the instinct to write a best-selling bonkbuster. But
a well-written one. <o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
I should have been aware of that
possible audience. Not the dumbasses that the columnists would have us believe
are reading that book but women like me. I deserved better on my holidays. I
deserved a book with good fucking and good sentence structure. There’s a huge
hole (Ooh, missus) in the market! I should have seen it.<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
And here we come to the part that
may make some people squirm in their seats, so look away if you are of a
nervous disposition. Maybe the reason that there isn’t a better class of
clit-lit out there (or at least it isn’t being marketed to us) is because it
would mean admitting that women masturbate.<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
Quick, the smelling salts!<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
Because that’s what all the
sneering and tittering has really been about. The success of these books has
been because women like to get off. Although, looking at the coverage, you’d
think that female masturbation was only invented last week. Hence the huge
amount of press coverage; because male newspaper editors think that jilling-off
is the phenomenon; not the EL James’ big old cash-in on it.<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
So, what have we learnt? Firstly,
my mother can’t read this blog – ever. Secondly, stop sneering at bad writing
being a success. Acknowledge the potential audience and give them something
better! Give them something that blows their minds, challenges their intellect and feeds
their souls. Know this: you are as sure as shit a better writer than EL James.<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
And that’s cruel. But then I’m
sure Ms James is crying herself to sleep on her big fucking pile of money. <o:p></o:p></div>Lisa Holdsworthhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03698897564460943227noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3926835221308398866.post-57414287767550194512012-06-22T17:00:00.001+01:002012-06-22T17:55:49.157+01:00Manners Cost Nothing<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">A couple of weeks ago, I heard some good news. A show that I
had been developing with a producer at one of the bigger independent production
companies had been given a green light. How exciting! And well-deserved, I can
tell you. I had put some serious hours in to the pitch document. I had been up
and down to their Soho offices (at my own expense) to have numerous meetings
with the development producer. I’d had a meeting with the author of the book on
which the show was going to be based and got along famously with her. It all
went on hold whilst the development producer went on maternity leave, but she
assured me that someone would be looking after her slate and they’d be in
touch.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">That was two years ago. So imagine my utter joy when I saw
that the show really had been looked after. Looked after so well that it starts
shooting next month. Hang on! That doesn’t leave me a lot of time to actually
write the scripts. Blimey, I had better clear my schedule and cancel my holidays…
Wait a minute.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Of course, the show has been commissioned but with a
different writer. And that is absolutely fine. It happens. But what also
happens is that production companies and producers don’t have the common
courtesy to get in touch with writers to tell them that their services are no
longer required. I have a folder on my computer called ‘Dead???’; it is full of
projects that I developed with producers that now I simply don’t know whether
they are dead in the water or still bouncing around on someone’s desk. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Actually, I do know. Those projects are deader than Bin
Laden. I know in the same way that you know that the bloke you went on the
really nice date with three weeks ago who said ‘Hey, so this was great. We
should totally do this again’ is a lying sack of shit and is not going to be
rocking up to your doorstep with a bunch of roses and an engagement ring any
time soon. The producer is just not that into you and your little idea. Get
over it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">But this isn’t a match.com date. It’s a professional relationship.
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Now, I’d like to think that the reason those producers never
bothered to get in touch is that they thought I was delicate flower who would go all
Sylvia Plath the moment someone even thought the word ‘rejection’ in my general
vicinity. Actually, they just don’t give a flying fuck. What they actually
think is that writers and their ideas are expendable. Like small children with
a new toy, they only love you until your paint gets scratched and your
batteries run out.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Sidebar: I think a recent TV experiment in ‘improvised
dialogue’ has shown us that writers are far from expendable. If writing was a
match.com relationship, a certain broadcaster should be stood outside our
houses holding up a boom box and playing a Peter Gabriel song right about now. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">In fairness, a lot of development producers are only passing
on the treatment that they have received at the hands of their own employers.
Let’s put it this way, if my job title included the word ‘development’ I
wouldn’t bother learning the receptionist’s name and unpacking my favourite
mug. Those poor buggers are rarely in the same job for longer than a year. So,
the reality is that when writers do one of their periodical ring-rounds to
chase up their projects, the chances of speaking to your contact is pretty slim.
And that is true of both independent production companies and good old Aunty
Beeb. We keep being told that it is important as writers to foster
relationships with like-minded producers. Yeah, good luck with that. At best,
your relationship with a development producer is like an intense holiday
romance. Nice whilst it lasts, but there’s no way that Pedro is going to still
remember your name once your tan has faded.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">That fact is that it is still unacceptable to treat people
in this way. Those ideas of mine that are languishing on hard drives across
London are my babies. I don’t let pitch documents away from my desk unless I
really love the idea. I don’t involve myself in projects unless (at the outset
at least) I genuinely want to see it on screen with my name on the credits.
Those ideas are my currency, my product. How dare anyone treat them with such a
cavalier attitude? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Now, let me just quickly say that not all producers and
companies have treated me this way. Some producers are nothing short of conscientious
about keeping writers informed. In my case, those producers know who they are
because I’ve continued to bring ideas to them. You guys are the tops.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">As for you other buggers, here is what I’m going to do.
Sometime soon I’m going to book a week in London and I’m going to pay a visit
to all the producers of all the projects in my Dead??? file. I’m going to
stride into their offices, clapping my hands together in an industrious fashion
and I’m going to say ‘So, when do we start filming?’ Because if no news is good
news…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Obviously, I’m not going to do that. But I should. We all
should. We should demand a basic level of courtesy and etiquette from the
people to whom we entrust our precious ideas. And so my real message to those
producers is this: - Oi! Didn’t your mother teach you any manners?<o:p></o:p></span></div>Lisa Holdsworthhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03698897564460943227noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3926835221308398866.post-68905404887241528842011-05-25T17:34:00.001+01:002011-05-25T17:34:51.558+01:00They have been watching…<span xmlns=''><p>Well, it's been a slightly fractious week out there in TV land. The annual mumbles and grumbles about the winners and losers at The British Academy Television Awards (the TV BAFTAs to you and me) reached deafening levels when <em>The One Way Is Essex </em>won the YouTube Audience Award. The "structured reality soap" had been nominated against other TV heavy hitters <em>Sherlock, My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding, Downton Abbey, Miranda</em> and <em>The Killing. </em>The audience reaction as the winner was read out was subdued to say the least and some of the attendees' faces registered what could only be described as contempt. There was the dispiriting sound of chairs scraping and glasses tinkling as the TOWIE 'cast' and crew took the stage.<br /></p><p>Of course, Twitter and Facebook exploded with people expressing their disbelief. Indeed, the following day I read several dismissive and openly hostile tweets and statuses about the award. God, I even wrote one myself in which I opined that if <em>TOWIE</em> could win a BAFTA then surely I could. I also had a pop at <em>EastEnders</em> beating <em>Coronation Street</em> to the Continuing Drama BAFTA, but more of that later. It all came to a head when one of two of my Facebook friends had a rather nasty, foul mouthed exchange because one of them suggested that the losing shows might have something to learn from <em>TOWIE</em>. That particular spat ended with someone being 'unfriended', which is surely the modern day version of a slap with a kid glove whilst being invited to partake of pistols at dawn. <br /></p><p>Basically, it was all f**king kicking off out there.<br /></p><p>Now, I've never watched an episode of <em>The Only Way Is Essex</em>. I've seen clips and I know what vajazzling is. I thought the music video trailer for the second series was pretty cool and looked expensive, but it didn't induce me to watch the show. Why? Well, firstly I'm a Northerner and the Essex accent is like finger nails down a blackboard to me. I'm sure some southerners are now having a similar reaction to Geordie Shore on MTV. And surely we all wish to go hysterically deaf when the cast of Made In Chelsea are on our screens.<br /></p><p>The other reason I never watched an episode was because I had 'artistic objections' to the very concept of a structured reality show. For those who are not in the know, this seems to involve the producers casting a bunch of extreme personalities, giving them a makeover and then deciding which cast members should snog. It's like a massive game of Barbies and Kens, only these dolls do actually have genitals not a smooth plastic area. <br /></p><p>I know that when Lime Pictures were in pre-production on <em>TOWIE</em> they met with various TV writers. The idea being that the writers would come up with stories that the Barbies could be made to play out. I assume that takes the form of a producer saying to Barbie 1, "Hey, why don't you snog Ken 1 and make Ken 2 really jealous". All the while another producer is whispering in Barbie 2's ear, "Guess what, Barbie 1 just snogged Ken 1. Isn't he supposed to be your boyfriend? Go punch her in the plastic tits". I'm not comfortable with actual humans being manipulated like that. It's all a bit ancient Greek gods for me. Sure, as I writer I have made terrible things happen to my characters but in the words of the great Brian Connolly "It's only a puppet".<br /></p><p>Although, I'd be lying if I said it hadn't occasionally been an expression of what I thought a certain actor actually deserved to have happen to him/her. Let's leave that, shall we?<br /></p><p>So, I'll admit that when <em>TOWIE's</em> award was announced I let out a howl of derision. I then cursed the viewing public for being so bloody stupid. And then after seeing all the similar reactions clogging up the social networks, I began to feel a tad uncomfortable. Because a lot of the contempt was aimed at the viewers who voted. Now, we could have a big discussion about demographics and the fact that if it had been the Werthers Original Audience Award, the result would most likely have been different (hello, <em>Downton Abbey</em>!). But let's not. <br /></p><p>Let's talk about the fact that some of us were so damn quick to look down our noses at an audience who loved and enjoyed a show so much that they made effort to vote for it. The same thing happened at the National TV Awards this year when <em>Waterloo Road</em> won best drama when it was up against <em>Sherlock</em> and <em>Doctor Who</em>. On that occasion I read elaborate theories about Russell T Davies fans voting for Waterloo Road in order to punish Steven Moffat for "ruining <em>Doctor Who</em>", because no-one could have voted for <em>Waterloo Road</em> because they actually liked it. This week I saw some people bemoaning the fact that the audience don't understand how much work goes into writing and producing TV, if they did then they wouldn't be so critical and cruel.<br /></p><p>Do you know what I say to all that? A big FUCK YOU. How dare you turn your nose at the Great British Public and what they like to watch? How dare you be so high-handed and contemptuous? These people pay your bloody wages if you're a professional writer, actor or producer. If you are not hitting the mark with them then that is YOUR problem not theirs. I'm not suggesting that we should pull all scripted drama and replace it with Barbie Telly. However, as writers we should be asking ourselves why people love those shows. Why are they so entertained? Why do they keep coming back for more? Is it the characters, the setting, the dialogue? And can we do it bigger and better? Can we give our audience something so great that they forget all about vajazzling?<br /></p><p>Bottom line, get down off your high horses.<br /></p><p>I also want to issue a second Fuck You to everyone who sneers at the production teams and writers who work on the more popular shows. The fact that attendees were openly expressing disbelief and contempt whilst the TOWIE producers were accepting their awards was unforgivable. They'd worked hard and created a hit show. In fact, I don't think that it anyone was affronted that TOWIE won, they were jealous because they hadn't. I know I was. By the way, anyone who was even at the ceremony on Sunday, I was watching and slagging you off. Because I was jealous that another year had passed without me being there. Let's face it, that's why we all watch award ceremonies; to criticise the dresses and make bitchy comments about the winners. It's bloody good fun, but let's try and keep it to the ceremony and not let it spill over.<br /></p><p>Oh, which brings me back to the Eastenders vs Coronation Street discussion. I'm genuinely not a fan of EastEnders and I do like Coronation Street better. But I'm not a religious viewer, I catch a couple of episodes a week. And yet I felt strongly enough to engage in a polite but distinctly robust discussion with a former colleague of mine that now works at 'Enders. And when you work on a show, you REALLY care about it. I now realise that I may well have been motivated a teeny tiny bit by spite when I was making the case for why Corrie should have got the award. I stand by what I said, but maybe I shouldn't have said it. Maybe I should apologise.<br /></p><p>Sorry, Kath.<br /></p><p>So, here comes the redemption for all of us (can you tell I'm a writer?). The reason we all get pulled into these discussions and express ourselves in less than ladylike terms when talking about telly is because we care, passionately. And that's a great thing. If you don't find yourself shouting at the telly and firing off an ill-advised tweet about a show at least once a week, then you shouldn't even be working in telly or aspiring to do so. But sometimes it is nice to be nice, especially these days when everybody's every thought is archived on some big server in Silicon Valley or Romford or wherever. Keep the passion, ditch the nastiness.<br /></p><p>That's what I'm going to try to do. I sincerely doubt I will succeed. </p></span>Lisa Holdsworthhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03698897564460943227noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3926835221308398866.post-20025305738306934512010-12-02T13:31:00.000+00:002010-12-02T14:03:53.125+00:00High Concept, Low ExpectationIt has been a long time since a British TV drama stayed with me long after the credits have played out. It feels like an age since I watched something that pounced on me in the middle of the day and made me laugh or cry. I had almost forgotten how I that felt; what it was to have that almost teenage longing to be part of the emotional highs and lows of a character.<br /><br />But that’s how Mick Ford’s <em>Single Father</em> made me feel.<br /><br />Now, I can hear the lips curling and the eyebrows arching all the way from here. <em>Single Father</em>? That schmaltzy piece of girly nonsense starring Doctor Boo-Hoo David Tennant? Yeah, yeah. I read the reviews and saw the slightly negative reactions from the Twitteratti.<br /><br />Some have called it ‘soapy’ whilst others have accused it of being ‘emotionally manipulative’. The most surprising reaction was from those that found it “too upsetting” to watch. It made them cry, it made them upset it made them actually FEEL something.<br /><br />Well, guess what? That is what good drama is supposed to do.<br /><br />When I worked for Kay Mellor she had a motto on her writing room wall – <strong>The writer’s job is to elicit emotion from the audience</strong>. It wasn’t a framed motto in beautiful calligraphy. It was scribbled on a sheet of scrap paper in blue highlighter pen and stuck to the wall with a drawing pin. I can still see it in my mind’s eye because it was so damn true.<br /><br />However, I would suggest that in recent times we forgot about emotion. Or maybe the powers that be forgot. We got so excited about high concepts and CGI that we put other things on the back-burner. Little things like character development.<br /><br />The natural consequence of this has been a slew of high-concept but emotionally-bankrupt dramas that have frustrated and confounded me. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not pulling a Jimmy McGod here. I love high concept especially when it is brilliantly-written (as much of it is). If it’s got a spaceship, wizard, vampire or time travelling killer robot in it – I’m there. But if you want me to stay then you have to give me characters I care about.<br /><br />Give me a Buffy, a Doctor or a Starbuck and I’ll give you my undying loyalty and all my hard-earned cash for whatever box-set, action figure or sonic screwdriver you care to sell. However, give me an idiotic collection of mix ‘n’ match marine biologists on a submarine or a medieval boy wizard who does the same thing EVERY WEEK and you get nothing but my contempt and frustration.<br /><br />At its worst (and we have seen the worst in the last few years), high concept drama gives us characters who are nothing but puppets. So, heroes become nothing but receptacles for super powers whilst the baddies are uncomplicated, unmotivated and inhuman. At its very worst we get a sense that writers sold the concept before they had worked on the stories and now they making this shit up as the go along. I’m looking at you <em>Lost</em> and <em>The Event</em>.<br /><br />I want characters with battle scars and baggage. I don’t want a reset button that means they start every episode in the same untouched state. I hate “goldfish” characters who don’t seem to remember that last week they nearly died or that they saved the world. Characters like that are a sign of laziness in the writers and producers, in my opinion. Because incorporating experience and baggage into a character is harder work. You have to service the character arc, keep the mythology in your head as you write.<br /><br />Of course, there is one dramatic form that does all that hard work day in, day out. It’s a form that can demand you produce up to 300 episodes a year and service a story arc that spans up to fifty years.<br /><br />Soap writers in this country are amongst the most maligned and hardest working writers in television. You think sci-fi geeks are pedantic and hard to please? Try a stint on Emmerdale or Coronation Street and meet the people who have watched your show ALL their lives. Try not to feel the hand of history on your shoulder as you write for characters who have been on screen not for a few episodes, but for decades. And if you get it wrong, be prepared to hear about it. At length.<br /><br />As I said earlier, one of the criticisms levelled at <em>Single Father</em> was that it was ‘soapy’. But perhaps that it isn’t quite the insult that some think it is. Perhaps when something is descri<img class="gl_italic" border="0" alt="Italic" src="http://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gif" />bed as soapy we should expect the characters to be complicated and multi-faceted? Perhaps we should expect well-constructed stories with emotional impact?<br /><br />But perhaps we should be expecting that from ALL drama?<br /><br />And here it is, my actual point – I knew it was in here somewhere. As much as I love high-concept drama, I am concerned that bad, under-developed, lazy high-concept drama is damaging television drama as a whole. I’m worried that we don’t give characters and stories a chance to take root and grow in our hearts and minds. I think that now when audiences ask “what’s it about?” when you talk about a show, what they are unwittingly asking is “what’s the gimmick?”<br /><br />It is far harder to pitch a low-concept drama to audiences (and indeed, commissioners) than a high concept one. It’s difficult to reduce a drama that is about love, grief, anger and all that messy stuff than to say “it’s about vampires”.<br /><br />Firstly, if you pitch high-concept to an audience or commissioner that can instantly imagine what form the stories will take week on week. For example, boy wizard lives in castle. Each week castle is threatened by some sort of magical villain. Wizard defeats villain. Simples.<br /><br />With character-driven drama, it’s much harder to impose a formula to the weekly episodes. It’s harder to guarantee an audience a satisfying end to each episode when stories are open-ended and emotionally complicated.<br /><br />It’s also a lot harder to repeat those open-ended episodes for the casual viewer on Dave or UK Gold. But that would be a cynical way to look at it, wouldn’t it? Still, one of the most popular dramas of the last decade was <em>Cold Feet</em>. How many times has that been repeated in comparison to shows like <em>Primeval</em> or <em>Doctor Who</em>? Also, where are the repeat runs of <em>This Life, Party Animals, Fat Friends, Making Out, Playing The Field, Cutting It, The Lakes</em> and all the other great character-driven shows of the last few years? Oh well, never mind, let’s watch another episode of <em>Waking The Dead</em>. <img class="gl_italic" border="0" alt="Italic" src="http://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gif" /><br /><br />Also, high-concept characters are an easier sell too. Because you are, initially, selling what the characters are and not who they are. Character pitches become short and sharp: “immortal time-traveller” or “vampire with a soul”. Or even just the character’s name; <em>Merlin, Robin Hood</em> or <em>Sherlock</em>.<br /><br />Low concept characters need history, context and lengthy explanations. How would you pitch Anna from <em>This Life</em>, for example? Yeah, she’s a solicitor. But she’s actually a self-destructive, promiscuous, soft-hearted, borderline alcoholic solicitor with a daddy complex. And that is a reductive view of her because you also have to factor in her relationships with her friends and lovers to really get to the heart of her.<br /><br />It takes time and trust on the part of the audience to fall in love with relationship dramas. Time and trust that I believe has been whittled away by the instant gratification that high-concept drama offers. And when I say instant gratification, I don’t just mean on the audience’s part. I think that the commissioners have been seduced by the instant high that they can get from an easily marketable high concept dramas. After all, if it’s got vampires/spaceships/killer robots from the future in it, you know that at the very least your first episode is going to get good figures, press interest and plenty of reviews.<br /><br />But what about episode 2 or 3 or 33? Look at most high concept dramas and the audience will drop away along with the initial “how the hell are they going to do this” curiosity. Then take a look at more traditional dramas. Dramas that aren’t cutting edge or new and trendy. Both Julian Fellowes’ <em>Downton Abbey</em> and Kay Mellor’s <em>A Passionate Woman</em> put viewers ON after their first episodes. It was word of mouth that turned viewers on to the entertaining characters and watchable stories. It’s been the same with the various series of New Tricks.<br /><br />Bottom line? Audiences want to engage with compelling characters and human stories. Let’s try to never forget that.Lisa Holdsworthhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03698897564460943227noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3926835221308398866.post-1674885338849947262010-09-03T07:48:00.001+01:002010-09-03T07:56:16.960+01:00Shameless Plug #2The new series of New Tricks will be starting on Friday 10th September on BBC1 at 9pm. The Friday night slot is a first for our little show, let's see how we do. All the episodes are brilliant. Well, how could they fail to be with writers like Julian Simpson, JC Wilsher, Matthew Thomas, Ollie Brown, Nicholas Hopkins and the mighty creator Roy Mitchell turning out? <br /><br />However, if you wish to seek out my offerings tune in on the 24th of September for LEFT FIELD - a story of paedophiles and Palestinian freedom fighters.<br /><br />And also on the 29th of October for COMING OUT BALL which explores the world of Irish Republican politics, arms-dealing and debutantes.<br /><br />Yeah, I decided to keep it light this year. <br /><br />Oh, and Dennis Waterman sings!Lisa Holdsworthhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03698897564460943227noreply@blogger.com4